


A Third Dimension to Traveling

by gottalovev



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Dom/sub, F/M, First Time, M/M, Multi, Pining, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-08
Updated: 2011-09-08
Packaged: 2017-10-23 12:59:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 40,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/250553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gottalovev/pseuds/gottalovev
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The stargates have suddenly stopped working in Pegasus, disrupting trade and leaving four Atlantis reconnaissance teams stranded. When the Travelers come to Atlantis to ask what is going on, John and Rodney take Ronon and a couple of scientists with them on Larrin's ship to go investigate the problem and get their people back. It leads to John and Larrin finally acting on their mutual attraction, though their casual relationship gets more complicated when Larrin brings Rodney into the mix. John struggles with his feelings for Rodney and how this could change everything, especially when they'll go back to Atlantis. Through it all and while hopping from planet to planet, they'll face emergency situations, a brush with an old foe and of course they still have the stargate network to fix, at all costs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Third Dimension to Traveling

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Inbetween](https://archiveofourown.org/works/251575) by [mashimero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mashimero/pseuds/mashimero). 



  
[   
](http://archiveofourown.org/works/251575)   


  


Art by [](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/mashimero/profile)[**mashimero**](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/mashimero/)

Being the man in charge has perks, John muses as he makes his way back from the armory. For one, he'd been allowed to handpick every single member of his staff when the time to leave for Pegasus came at last. The ones that had wanted in again had been first choices, of course, because nothing beats having experienced Pegasus and wanting to come back for more.

By the time they had prepared to leave Earth - finally! - John had known who would throw the chemistry off, too, by their attitude or because of little things that hadn't sat right with John over the weeks or years he'd known them. Not that he'd leave behind everyone who had dared voice concerns about his leadership, he appreciated being called on his bullshit sometimes, but John considered himself a good judge of character. For the newbies needed to fill the holes - because you couldn't blame wanting to take a break from life sucking vampires - he'd gone with people he'd worked with before or who had strong commendations from Lorne, Mitchell, Carter or O'Neill. The result? An efficient crew who worked extremely well together and made his life easier.

Big fuck-ups could still happen, though, as had been proved by Todd giving them the split. John had to give it to the Wraith: he'd been bright about it and had fooled them all. Not only had he managed to overpower his security detail in the lab one night - and that was his fault, John hadn't noticed the rotation had two newbies that day - but he then had walked right out of the gate using a couple of scientists as hostages.

Thankfully no one had been hurt, not even a little life force drained, and they'd gotten their people back to the alpha site a day later, shaky but whole. With a message, even: "Until we meet again, Sheppard.". John sighs just thinking about it; they aren't done with that bozo, not by a long shot.

It's habit that has John stopping by the lab to see if Rodney's ready for dinner, but he pauses in the doorway when he sees him talking with Kathleen Von Rosen, one of the new mechanical engineers. Beautiful, busty and blonde Kathleen - who is surprised?- and John hates how it still gets to him to see Rodney's laborious attempts at flirting. He's never had a crush so unwanted and so persistent before. His mind knows Rodney is a lost cause, but his stupid heart and idiotic dick still carry the torch. John can live with it, he has learned to because he has no choice, though it's always harder on days when what he'll never have is shoved right in his face. What John can be, though, is a friend and right now Rodney needs one. Finding a smile he hopes no one will look at too closely, John enters the lab.

"Hey Rodney!" he says, strolling over, before smiling at Kathleen too. "Doctor Von Rosen."

It's easy to see that Rodney is annoyed at John's interruption with the scowl he makes, but there's an unmistakable look of relief on Kathleen's face, which soothes and annoys John at the same time.

"Colonel Sheppard!" she exclaims a bit too brightly. "Rodney was just telling me about your mission on P3T-553."

John goes through his mental Rolodex and grins. Yeah, it's typical it would be a mission where Rodney saved the day _and_ everyone else, too.

"Never trust bears with opposable thumbs," John says as if it's advice she'll need to remember and Kathleen laughs. Rodney's mood is darkening by the second so John turns to him. "Come on, buddy, there's meatloaf with our name on it in the mess."

"But..." Rodney starts to protest, but Kathleen jumps on the opening.

"I really have to go, I'm late," she says, gathering her things and she gives Rodney an awkward smile and a wave before leaving as if the lab is on fire. "Have a nice evening!"

As soon as she's out of earshot, well even before that, Rodney hisses. "Jesus, Sheppard, you couldn't see that we were chatting, here?"

John sighs. "Of course I did. And you know what? You should thank me for butting in."

"What?"

John leans closer. "She's seeing Peterson." It's true too, he's not that much of a dick to make up something like that. When Rodney frowns, John elaborates, gesturing a good 6 inches over his head. "Six foot six, looks like a Viking with a crew cut, suggested we should set up mixed martial arts fights?"

It's obvious when Rodney finally places the guy as he gulps.

"She is? I didn't know that!" he looks nervously at the door as if Peterson is about to barge in and punch him in the face. Right after the words kick in, though, Rodney's shoulders sag a little. "Well fuck. I guess I'm not her type."

"Her loss," John says with conviction. Hell, he wouldn't say no to Peterson himself, but never over Rodney. Since he's a masochist, he even dares to grab Rodney's shoulder near the neck and squeezes a little. "Come on. Meatloaf."

"Yeah, okay," Rodney says, perking up a little. "Thank you, by the way. I hope I didn't make too much a fool out of myself."

John lets him go and smirks. "Nah. She just didn't want to antagonize her new boss. You know how you scare the bejeebus out of the new staff before they learn to see past the tyrant."

Rodney rants a bit about that but they naturally fall in step as they walk towards the mess hall. John shouldn't be happy that Rodney struck out, again, but he is, so help him god. What a good friend he is, John thinks bitterly.

***

There's a whole lot of activity in the gate room for 0530, John thinks as he stops his jog and walks in. Radek and a handful of worried looking geeks are puttering near the gate, with computers plugged into it and there's a commotion near the consoles, too. Rodney's there, typing furiously, and Chuck stands by his side, looking dismayed.

"What's wrong?" John asks, mopping the sweat off his face with the edge of his t-shirt.

Rodney's eyes go up, rapidly scan him before he goes back to his computer.

"Oh, hey. I was going to call you, but it figures you're already up. In short, we're fucked."

Rodney has a habit to be melodramatic but that's usually in life or death situations. There are no alarms blaring at the moment.

"Care to explain?" John asks again, annoyed that he needs to pry.

"The gate stopped working, and we have absolutely no idea what's wrong with it. We have sufficient power, all of the circuits and crystals are intact, but it just won't dial," Rodney says.

It could be the DHD, John thinks. "Did you try..."

"The puddlejumpers, yeah. Who do you take me for? It's the first thing I thought of, too. Didn't work," Rodney says, snappish.

"It seems it won't dial in, either," Chuck says. "AR-4 was due 30 minutes ago from PR5-992."

Andola, right. No one stayed there longer than they had to. John winced thinking that Lt Gillis and the rest of his team were stuck there for a bit. It's not that the Andolans aren't nice, they are the best, but the fumes on that planet are horrible.

"Command staff meeting in 30 minutes?" John asks.

Rodney sighs, and then nods. "Yeah, we better do that. I don't think I'll have answers by then, though."

"Alright. I'll call Woolsey," John says, leaving Rodney to pound on the computer some more. John sets the meeting as he runs to his quarters to shower and change. If they are lucky, the glitch or whatever it is maybe will disappear just like it came.

***

"In short, there is nothing wrong with the hardware that we know of," Rodney says. "There are anomalies in the energy patterns even when the gate is inactive, though. I'd be tempted to blame exterior causes at this point."

Woolsey is doing that scrunchy forehead thing of his, which John evaluates at worry level 3: not Wraith, but take extremely seriously none the less. John agrees.

"There are no communications possible at the moment, correct?" Woolsey asks.

"None at all," confirms Rodney. "The chevrons won't encode, even manually. The gate is just a ring of dead metal at the moment. Decorative, but useless."

"What about the off world teams?" John asks.

"We suppose they tried to dial in, but it doesn't even register on our end. I am afraid they are stranded for the time being." Rodney gathers his tablet and gets up, vibrating with brittle energy as he often does when a solution is not readily apparent. His mind is obviously mostly focused on the work to do and little else. "Look, talking about it gives absolutely nothing. I'll get back to it, check the code once more. I might have an idea to jump start the system, but I need to work on it with Zelenka."

"Do whatever you need, Doctor," Woolsey says. "Keep me updated."

Rodney is already out of the door and John looks at the list of the personnel currently locked out: 22 persons on 4 different planets; all extremely competent and good people that the expedition cannot afford to lose. It's a bit crazy how, with time, John found himself lulled into thinking the gates were an ordinary mean of transportation. They definitely aren't, John thinks as he calculates the astronomical distances between him and his people.

***

Three days later and the science team hasn't found an explanation let alone a solution. Beckett had to force Rodney to take some time off, and most of the military, feeling totally useless - John includes himself - have spontaneously appointed themselves as coffee and snacks wranglers for the blue shirts. As is to be expected, Rodney is in a foul mood, which doesn't excuse not answering when asked a direct question, something John has been doing for the better part of ten minutes now.

"Rodney!" John almost shouts.

"What?" Rodney says, finally looking up from his damn computer to glare. "Don't you see I'm busy?"

"Stop it for a second, okay?" Geez. Rodney's lucky John likes him because he could drive saints to murder. "As I was trying to ask, what kind of data do you need right now to make way on this problem?"

Rodney passes his hands on his face, before sliding them up until he's digging in his scalp. Headache, probably, John thinks with sympathy.

"I need to know if this is only Atlantis' problem. But I can't ask because we usually communicate through the gate and there are no allies with a ship within earshot. Or Wraith for that matter, which is the only good news about our isolation."

"What if I brought you to a space gate? I checked with the chair, there's one two days away by puddlejumper."

Rodney frowns. "Two days? What are you talking about? There are no gates this close, I checked too."

John waves it off.

"Not in the database for accessible planets, there's not," John says. "But I asked, with the chair. I figured there could be planets wiped from the registry for some reason, either in secrecy or because the Ancients figured there was nothing left to gain to go to the associated planets."

"And Atlantis just rolled over for you and found what you were looking for just like that, didn't she?" Rodney asks with a roll of his eyes. "How typical."

It's a known fact that Rodney resents his special bond with Atlantis, but it's not as if John asked for it. It gives him a little thrill none the less, though, he'll admit to that.

"Hey, I asked nicely. You should try sometimes."

Rodney is packing up his computer, which probably means he's sold on the idea. "I did, as a matter of fact. Let's go see Woolsey, I want to leave as soon as possible."

John grins, relieved to be useful at last.

"Excellent, I'll go pack the jumper right after. How many people?" John asks.

"The pilot..." Rodney starts.

"Me," John says decisively. He's not staying idle one more second.

Rodney smiles at him, pleased.

"I figured. Then Garrett and me, no need for more. Pack two space suits and enough air for a couple of outings. Oh and meatball MREs?" Rodney asks with such a hopeful expression that John laughs.

"Got it. Let's get this show on the road."

***

As it happens, the visit to the space gate is a bust. Oh, Rodney manages to get some data that seems to confirm the gate suffers from the same problem as the Atlantis one (they can't dial, for one), but it's been damaged so the tests are inconclusive.

"Well that's a total waste of five perfectly good days!" Rodney bitches as John sets the course to go back to Atlantis.

Even if he's frustrated that it didn't work, John can't bring himself to regret it at all. For one they all managed to catch up on sleep, and Rodney had really needed the forced down time. He'd spent hours working on his laptop, but he'd gotten more sleep in the three days since they'd left than in the week before, John is sure of it. And there had been a memorable poker game where John and Dr Garrett had almost hurt something by laughing so hard while Rodney had told them about his one and only trip to Vegas, which included winning astronomical bids, showgirls, way too much alcohol and ending up being blacklisted from all major Casinos for something Rodney didn't even remember. Now they have two more easy days to go back before jumping back into the madness; John stretches and decides to take a nap.

***

John surveys the new proposed course and almost tears his hair out: there doesn't seem to be any way to go pick up their stranded off-world teams without spending months in the jumpers. If they'd even have enough power to make the ride in the first place.

"The Athosians are worried that the demands for produce and game asked from the mainland will prove too taxing if the situation continues for long," Teyla explains at the meeting.

Right. And there's the problem of supplies, too. The cooks do their best to vary with the little they have, but morale is starting to take a hit from too much algae in the meals.

"I am sorry to disturb you," Chuck's voice sounds on speaker. "But the deep space surveillance says we'll have company."

Oh, great, John thinks. Like they need to face the Wraith on top.

"How many mother ships?" he asks and they all get up and move to the gate room to see for themselves what is coming over on the sensors. There are dots, but green ones.

"None, thank god. It's the Travelers, Sir. Three ships. They'll be in video communication range in approximately five minutes."

That is unexpected, but John shakes a bit of tension off his shoulders: he can deal with the Travelers. When Chuck confirms they can reach the ships, John opens a line of communication and isn't surprised by who appears on his screen.

"Hey, Larrin!" John drawls, unable to stop his grin. She smiles right back.

"Sheppard," she acknowledges with a nod. "What have you done again?"

He feels his eyebrows climb up on his forehead. "How is this any way to say hello? We just got back and already you're accusing us of something?"

"Oh, I don't know... Atlantis is back and not a month later there are no gates working anywhere? I don't think it's a coincidence."

Rodney twitches by John's side and he almost pushes him out of the way to cut into the conversation.

"All the gates are malfunctioning? Are you sure of that?" Rodney asks Larrin.

"Doctor McKay," she says with a smirk. "Judging by the tone, you were not aware of it. I'm surprised."

"I was not aware, no, because my gate is _not working_ ," Rodney says, almost gritting his teeth. "How many gates are you positive are malfunctioning? Was there any testing done on them?"

Larrin looks thoughtful and John is pretty sure that it's not a joke that the Travelers were convinced they were behind this.

"We better speak of this in person. ETA in 2 hours."

As she disconnects, John turns to the others.

"Okay, guys, time to tidy up." The Travelers might be allies - for now - but they won't take their guard down. There are things they prefer keeping to themselves, like firepower and the most recent advances in the labs. Any or all tours with the guests will be carefully choreographed. Speaking of, John will start by cloaking some jumpers, he thinks, as everyone scuttles off to play their part.

***

They haven't dealt with the Travelers since the Attero device disaster, but Larrin is a constant in self-confidence and bravado. She's as stunning as ever, too, completely clad in form fitting black leather and John can't help but wonder if she dressed up for him when she blatantly gives him an appreciative once over as soon as they meet on the docks. He catches her eyes and gives her a cocky smile of his own, feeling the attraction between them sizzle, as always. It's a shame they never acted on it, and John has a fleeting thought he should do something about that.

"Larrin," John says as a greeting.

"Sheppard," she purrs right back. "It's good to see you again."

"Could you two just put the eye-fucking on pause for a little while? We've got work to do," Rodney says, sounding annoyed and Larrin laughs.

"Doctor McKay. I might even have missed you, too."

Rodney pinks a little but he's already asking questions and _demanding_ answers. Larrin foists one of her crew at Rodney, probably her chief engineer, and John offers her his arm as they walk to the central tower, that she surprisingly accepts. She takes the occasion to lean on him and yeah, they really should do something about that unresolved sexual tension.

"How have you guys been?" John asks.

"Not so bad. We built something nice on a planet called Banis and a couple more, even if many were shaken about what happened after the gate exploded at our first colony," she says. "This whole thing with the gates not working is causing waves and gives ammunition to those who wants us back exclusively in the ships."

John nods. "I can imagine. So the gate malfunction thing is widespread, huh?"

"We visited our four settlements and another ten worlds on our way over and it's the same everywhere. The people we met are getting worried."

It's when you lose something that you realize how much you need it. It's especially true for all of those worlds who count on trade to survive.

"Any idea about what is happening?" he asks.

"Frankly? We thought it was one of your ideas gone wrong. But now... the next logical suspects are the Wraith," Larrin says.

With a sigh, John nods.

"Yeah, we reached that conclusion too. If this is deliberate, the only benefit can be for someone with ships."

"People are trapped on their planets, cannot get warnings out to friends or evacuate. Sitting ducks, in short."

They fall silent and John can hear the rise and fall of Rodney arguing with the engineer. If they're lucky, they'll have data and a thread to investigate. Woolsey meets them as they get to the meeting room, and he greets Larrin and her crew warmly, before offering some tea and what John thinks are the last biscuits on Atlantis. At least there is no algae in sight.

***

They aren't closer to a resolution the next day.

"No offense," Rodney says to Larrin and her guys who are all lined up on one side of the table, most with their arms crossed defensively over their chests. "But the little data you have is of no use at all."

Trust Rodney to antagonize the nice people with the spaceships. It's damage control time again.

"What he means is that we need more of it, and different readings," John says.

"Why don't you go and get it, then?" Larrin asks, a bit testy.

"The closest gates are still too far, it would take weeks if not months with no hyperspace travel," John says.

Larrin makes a sweeping gesture, encompassing the room and beyond. "Move the city, then. Get nearer."

"We were hoping to find another solution," Rodney says. "Moving Atlantis takes tremendous amounts of energy that we could need in case of a Wraith attack. Until we've gone through all the other possibilities, she stays put."

"And what are the possibilities left?" Larrin asks, tilting her head a little.

Rodney tramps all over the elephant in the room.

"You and your ships. We dispatch teams on your ships to collect data from several gates I predetermined."

You've got to give it to Rodney, he lays it all on the table for everyone to see, no surprise or finesse.

"Is that so? And what do I get in return?" Larrin asks.

"As long as we travel with you, our people work to patch up and boost - if possible - your piles of junk," Rodney says defiantly, chin up.

In John's opinion, it's a good deal. Qualified cheap labor for the Travelers and an opportunity to study the gates without depleting Atlantis' power reserve. They'd been ready to do just that, to fly her out, since those away teams had to be brought home, but Larrin's unexpected arrival offers another alternative. Rodney's offer seems spontaneous enough, but they've cleared it with Woolsey first.

"Now, Doctor McKay, we should discuss this before..." Woolsey starts, tone uncertain, and John turns to him with a frown because they had agreed to it... when he notes how Larrin looks suddenly more predatory.

"What do you mean, we should..." Rodney starts, turning to Woolsey too while looking pissed and Larrin cuts in.

"It's a deal," she says. "As long as _you_ are personally working on my ship," she adds, pointing to Rodney.

Look at that, John thinks: by suggesting he was wary of the mission, Woolsey made it even more tempting for Larrin; trade and negotiations are definitely better left to the experts. Rodney might have caught on, even, because he puts both fists on the table and challenges Larrin right back.

"I'll personally climb on your ship on the condition that, one, the planets we go visit are not discussed, and two, that if it happens that we have people there, they come on board."

"Is it a research trip or a rescue mission?" Larrin doesn't sound thrilled at the idea.

"Both," John says.

"We can't afford too many passengers," Larrin says after a moment. "Minimal crew is all we'll allow."

"Fine," Rodney says. "Five people teams by ship, three scientist and two military."

"If you don't trust us, let's call this off right now."

"It's standard operation for us: no scientist in the field without security," John says. "There's going to be work on the planets we visit to make diagnosis, and my guys know the terrain."

"How many stranded will we pick up?" Larrin's second asks.

"Twenty two, total."

One of Larrin's crew leans to whisper something near her ear.

"That's a lot. You need to bring supplies on board," she says.

"Of course," John replies, thinking this is going better than he thought.

"When are we leaving?" Larrin asks.

It's admission that the deal is on. "Three hours," John says.

Rodney's already up and walking out. "Perfect. We've got stuff to get ready, I'll get back to you."

***

Woolsey didn't want both his head of military and his head of science out of Atlantis at the same time, again, but once more John didn't budge. He's of no use in Atlantis right now, and he knows how to deal with Larrin, who did strongly suggest he climbs on board, too. John chose Ronon as second security and the two other scientists to go up on Larrin's ship are Chisman and Bedaw. At least it's not Kathleen Von Rosen, she's on another ship, thank god.

They're just about to climb on board when John checks one last time the communication schedule he made up with Lorne, Chuck and Zelenka. That Larrin is within earshot, therefore knowing it exists, is a bonus.

"The mental command will generate the pulse with data transfer, right?" John loves Ancient technology. The little ball can fit in the palm of his hand, dotted with lights and a single slot for being plugged in. It's a miniature version of its mother Zelenka cradles in the crook of his elbow.

"Yes, and it will be received here on Atlantis in this one, and vice versa. There is speech and also the digital info that can be downloaded to a computer with this," Zelenka says handing John a cable with a bastardized Ancient/Tau'ri adapter.

"I'll update our communications with the progress of the other teams," Lorne says.

"Great."

Rodney stops the inventory of the material he's bringing on Larrin's ship to come close.

"Oh, those are ready? Excellent. Will every team have one?" Rodney asks.

"Yes, the fourth has just been finished and there is at least one gene bearer by team. You will relay all measures, yes?" Zelenka asks.

"Definitely, and make sure everyone does the same, then keep me informed," Rodney says.

"Are you sure those communications devices won't give away our position to the Wraith?" Larrin asks, finally butting in.

"No, they work like communication stones, but without conscience transfer, just data. Totally undetectable," Rodney explains.

"They only can be controlled by someone with the gene," John adds and can't help but smirk when Larrin scowls for a second; the gene envy still burns, it seems. "If the person is being coerced into sending the signal, they'll know."

It makes it at the same time a useful communication device and a security system for his people.

"Is that so." Larrin doesn't sound convinced.

"We could demonstrate," Zelenka says with a twinkle in his eyes. "What is the button for speech transfer, Colonel?"

Ah, that one is easy.

"The green one," John says. "Okay, let's see." He presses the green button and says to the ball. "We'll be ready to go as soon as Rodney stops with the anal re-checking of the supplies."

Rodney waves him his middle finger and John thinks 'send' at the ball. The mother ball glows blue and its green button starts flashing. Zelenka presses it and it dutifully repeats what John said.

"Now, Miss Larrin, suggest something for Colonel Sheppard to say that he generally would not want to affirm," Zelenka instructs.

She smiles with too many teeth for John's comfort. "Fine. Tell them how I keep kicking your ass."

John narrows his eyes: she is evil. But yeah, the ball should pick up his reluctance to say something like that. He presses the green button again.

"I was violently abused repeatedly for no good reason and I never hit back because I am a gentleman. A stance I am reconsidering, for your information."

He sends the message. This time, the mother ball glows orange instead of blue before the green button flashes and repeats his words.

"We'll take everything said under an orange glow as potential misinformation," Lorne says. He's not that happy to see so many key personnel leaving Atlantis either, John knows, though Lorne understands the need to get the stranded personnel back and the necessity to get info on the gates.

Rodney's eyes are jumping from one person to another and he finally clues in on the security element.

"Very cool and all, but it's not like you guys are planning to kidnap us or anything, right?" Rodney asks the Travelers. Larrin winks at him and laughs when his jaw drops.

"We'll have to re-think that, it seems," she says.

John's pretty sure she hadn't planned anything like that, but it's better to nip the idea in the bud.

****

On the Naenli, Larrin's ship, routine settles in pretty fast. Rodney works on the engines with Chisman and a couple of Traveler engineers and John hovers close. When Rodney is in a good mood, he explains as he goes and John finds himself drawn in as much as the Travelers. He doesn't have all of the background necessary to get the subtleties, but he gets the gist of it. It always amazes John that Rodney is as good with both arms deep in engine guts as he is with the theoretical stuff. Apart from watching and listening, though, John doesn't have much to do, so he ends up spending quite a bit of time with Larrin. They've been flirting heavily, but frankly it's up to a point that John wonders if that's going to be it, all innuendo and no action. He's pretty sure hooking up with Larrin would be complicated, so he has decided he's not going to make the first official move. If Larrin does? He'll evaluate then.

The woman's a first class flirt, using her charm and body to interact with everyone. More than once she openly leers at Ronon - who smirks back but doesn't bite - and her other favorite victim, apart from John, is Rodney. John sees it like the game it is and he doesn't feel jealous, or at least not like Larrin might think it would affect him. What John does notice, though, is how Rodney reacts to her, which is highly surprising to be honest. Right now Larrin is right by Rodney, pressing herself to his side in the supposed excuse that she's trying to see what he's doing. Instead of getting flustered because he has boobs pressed on his arm, Rodney turns his head, looks down right into Larrin's cleavage, then looks back up to frown at her.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to work here."

John's jaw almost drops open. Larrin's flirtatious smile freezes for a second, but then she grins even wider, sliding the back of her fingers along Rodney's arm.

"I appreciate it. But maybe you could take a break, no? Rest a little? The hyperdrive will still be here in a couple of hours."

It's an invitation way more explicit than John's ever gotten, but Rodney only sighs dramatically.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I have a job to do." And just like that he's back to working on the ship, not giving Larrin one more second of his attention. It's positively fascinating.

After a couple seconds, Larrin admits temporary defeat and leaves him be, before sliding to John.

"Is he always so serious?" she asks, examining Rodney as if he's an enigma to crack; the hard to get routine must work for her.

"About work? Yeah," John answers. He's pretty sure that the importance Rodney gives to his job is what torpedoed his relationship with Jennifer, in the end.

Larrin looks at him with a half smirk. "And what about you, Sheppard? Are you up for a little fun?"

And wow, way to make John feel like he's second choice right now. Maybe she's doing this on purpose, to put him off balance and play with his head, but they have been a long time in the making and John does feel up for a little fun, after all.

"As long as we agree that's all it is, sure," he says, taking time to look her up and down with no subtlety at all. If she wants to be blunt, he's going to play that way too.

She hums with a smile. "As if there was ever going to be more?"

She starts to sashay out of the engine room, throwing him a come hither look over her shoulder. John looks around and sees that Ronon hasn't missed a second of the exchange, raising an amused eyebrow at him. John winks back and tilts his head towards Rodney, even though he's already sure Ronon won't let him out of his sight. It earns him an eye roll and, reassured that everything is under control, John follows Larrin.

She leads him directly to her quarters, and starts getting out of her clothes as soon as the door is closed. John follows suit, toeing his boots off while he unbuttons his shirt. He's getting rid of his t-shirt when Larrin, now completely naked and as confident as ever, walks up to him and rakes her fingers in his chest hair, thumbing his nipples in the process. John circles her waist with his arm and pulls her flush to him, sliding his other hand in her hair to better pull her into a kiss. She tastes just a little spicy, exactly like he remembers and he can't help but groan. It's been a while since he got laid and he wants her badly. She's the one who breaks the kiss, walking back towards her bed while pulling him by the belt loops, smug grin firmly in place.

"Oh yes. It's about time we finish this dance, huh?" she says, voice husky.

"Yeah," he says, climbing over her when she lays back on the bed, absolutely gorgeous against the white sheets. He kisses her again, cupping one of her breasts, and she moans into his mouth. John then trails open mouthed kisses down her neck, her clavicle and then teases a nipple with the tip of his tongue before suckling on it.

"Oh yes, that's good, come on, now, come on," she says, pushing firmly on his shoulders so he goes lower and it makes John chuckle.

He leaves one breast to go to the other, and grins when Larrin moans again but follows it with a frustrated sound and shoves some more on his shoulder.

"Is there something you want, Larrin?" John asks, pushing up on his arms and taking her in, face flushed already. She's biting her lips and grabs his dog tags, and then pulls down some more..

"You know what I want. Show me what you can do with that pretty mouth of yours, Sheppard," she says.

John's always loved partners who know what they want and aren't afraid to ask for it. He dips for a kiss and then nods. "Yes ma'am."

Since he's pretty keyed up himself, John doesn't tease too much, kissing a pretty straight path from her ear to the crease of Larrin's thigh. She opens up her legs eagerly and John's mouth water at how good she smells before having a taste, licking a circle around her clit to start off. Larrin all but bucks off the bed at it, moaning loudly and John gets to work, licking and sucking, trying to make it as good as he can. Going down on men is easier to get right, but Larrin is very vocal and all but dictates what she wants, may it be sucking harder of easing off a little when it becomes too much, which makes things simpler. She groans loudly when he starts to finger her, wet and hot and John can't wait to fuck her, his dick still uncomfortably trapped in his pants.

"Yeah, yeah, that's it, c'mon," she says on a loop, fucking herself on his hand and fingers gripped tight in his hair, focused on her quest for pleasure. She starts moving with more purpose and from one moment to the other she's coming, spasming hard around his digits with a harsh cry, back bowing. John eases up the stimulation on her clit as she rides her high but keeps fucking her until she starts to twist her hips and now pull at his hair.

"Enough, stop, come here," she pants. "What are you waiting for? Fuck me now, come on!" she orders and John wipes his mouth and chin on the back of his hand, rises on his knee to finally open his damn pants. He barely has time to push them and his boxers down his thighs that Larrin's grabbing his hips and pulling him down, grabbing his cock and guiding him in. He has a fleeting thought that doing this without protection is way stupid but he can't resist, sinking into her with a grunt.

She feels so good, hot and wet and John starts fucking her in earnest as she asks for faster and harder, clawing at his back. It's been so long that he's sure he's not going to last but somehow Larrin's coming again around his dick, crying out some more so John doesn't feel too bad letting go early, his orgasm tearing out of him and leaving him drained as he tries not to slump directly down on Larrin. He flips on his back and pants, looking at the ceiling as Larrin does the same. After a minute she turns on her side and props her head on her hand, looking down at him with a smile.

"That wasn't bad," she declares and John laughs.

"It was pretty good," he agrees, feeling a bit stupid to have his pants half off. He's just about to get rid of them when he feels Larrin start to tug them _up_.

"You'll have to come back, then," she says with a smile, and John helps her bring the boxers and pants back to his waist.

He's being casually dismissed, that much is clear, and there's nothing to do but to follow it up by getting his t-shirt back on. Maybe it's how the Travelers do it - or it's just Larrin - fucking and then throwing your partner out. She doesn't seem mad or as if he did something wrong, just as if getting out is what is expected so John gets dressed as she gets comfortable in her bed, wrapping in a sheet. She beacons him close for a kiss when he's all buttoned up, which ends up wet and dirty and yeah, it doesn't look as if he did anything wrong after all.

"See you," John says as he goes for the door, and it should feel awkward but for some reason it's not at all.

A little bit dazed and still high on endorphins, John goes to the quarters that he shares with Rodney and strips again before going in the little cleaning room in the corner. The sound wave mechanism that the Travelers use instead of showers still feels weird, but it does its job and John puts a new pair of boxers on before climbing in his bunk for a nap. He's always crashed hard after sex and it seems that today's not going to be any different, being kicked out or not.

***

John wakes to the feel of a hand brushing his forehead and opens his eyes to see Rodney looking at him with a frown, worried.

"You're not hot, at least. Are you okay?" he asks. Naps always leave John pretty groggy and confused so he just blinks for a moment as Rodney continues. "You, in bed at what would be seven at night, do you feel sick? I hope you didn't catch some space bug, I really don't want to get ill right now with no decent doctor in sight."

"No, I'm fine," John says, voice a bit scratchy. "Just took a nap, that's all."

Rodney scoffs and roll his yes before dipping down, sitting on the bottom bunk. "How wonderful for you. Meanwhile, I spend hours working on unstable machinery getting zapped every fifteen minutes."

"You love showing off how you're better at fixing their spaceships than they are," John says, sitting up and putting on a t-shirt on that was lying at the foot of the bed. He's still pleasantly loose and he wonders if he should get something to eat or not.

Fishing out the laptop he stowed under his bed, Rodney fires it up and he slaps one of John's ankles to get his attention. "I've brought some TV series, figuring the Travelers wouldn't have much in way of entertainment. Interested?"

"Sure. What do you have?" John hops down and sits beside Rodney, peering at the screen. The familiar smell of him is like a sucker punch, especially because John wasn't braced for it. He can't believe he's reacting as strongly as usual just after having very good sex and almost groans in dismay. What will it take to get this under control?

"I've always been curious about LOST," Rodney says.

They've been cut of from all mainstream entertainment with their stint in Atlantis, but even John has vaguely heard about that one.

"Fire away," he says.

***

It seems that John's new routine on the Naenli now includes having sex with Larrin. She's the one that comes to him, either bringing him to her quarters or shoving him in a supply closet. It's always pretty fast and rough, which John doesn't mind at all. Afterwards they straighten their clothes and go their separate ways, no sentimentality. John wonders if Larrin does it in the hope to get pregnant with a kid with the gene, which wouldn't be the first time he's been used that way. After the incident on PE4-678, though, where he'd been captured in the express intent to put him on stud duty, he had Carson clamp him. If he ever feels the need to have kids, which is highly improbable but you never know, it's reversible.

"I can't have kids, by the way," he tells her after their fourth time, as he's buckling his thigh holster back.

Larrin laughs, shaking her head as if he's ridiculous.

"I can't right now either, don't worry." It's true that the Travelers are on strict population control mechanisms, but you never know. "It's just fun, Sheppard, don't imagine ploys where there are none."

"Okay. I just thought you ought to know. You can call me John, by the way."

She shrugs with a smile, "sure," and kisses him before leaving.

***

"There must be a catch."

John raises his head from his comic book to throw a look at Ronon, who's sitting cross-legged in the corner of their small quarters and mending one of his vests. Sometimes he joins them in the evening and it's cool to spend some quiet time as a Team. Or almost a Team: they won't say but they all miss Teyla terribly; too bad she decided to stay on Atlantis with Torren, John is pretty sure he'd had convinced Larrin to bring Teyla on board too if she had been interested.

"What catch?" John asks.

"Your new gadget," Ronon answers, pointing to the ball Rodney's programming to send info to Zelenka. "If there's no downside in using it, there'd be some everywhere."

"In fact, it's very similar to the Goa'ul communication devices, with less flash of course," Rodney says. "Those are prototypes, they weren't even finished when we found them."

"I still think there could be a catch," Ronon says, tugging on a leather cord with his teeth.

John narrows his eyes, listening intently to the vibe the ball gives away like everything Ancient. "Weird radiation? Some kind of a bomb?"

"And _I'm_ accused of being paranoid," Rodney says rolling his eyes. "There's no bomb. The only bummer is that I'm not sure if we'll be able to make more as they are incredibly complex."

"Still," Ronon says. "Enjoy it while you can."

***

John is sprawled on a crate near the engine Rodney is currently working on, half listening to his techno babble and general complaints - today it's about the recycled air on the ship and how it can't be healthy, he's heard it before - when Larrin strolls in. She passes near enough to briefly put a hand high on the inside of his thigh, and his dick twitches even though she blew him not an hour before. He smirks up at her and she winks, though she rapidly goes to Rodney, leaning against his side as she usually does.

Rodney's not stupid, and after being a bit oblivious the first couple of days he now knows something more is going on between the two of them. Over the years John has seen Rodney resent all flirting he did, and a little amount of sulking is exactly what he had anticipated. Rodney's not used to having friends and he doesn't take well when someone takes away any attention from him (which is a grade school attitude, but sadly expected).

"And what do you want?" Rodney snaps at Larrin.

"Easy, McKay," she says with a laugh. "I've heard you've found the problem?"

"Of course I did. The problem is trying to fix it with no decent spare parts," he says, gesturing at the various pieces lying around.

"I know you'll find a way with that big brain of yours," Larrin says. She rapidly learned how to interact with him and John's witnessing how they're more and more developing an easy sort of banter. It's a little unsettling.

"Of course. Don't you have anyone else to harass right now?" Rodney asks, raising an eyebrow. "I'm sure Colonel Slinky here could go entertain you for a bit."

John almost chokes on his saliva at the direct allusion but Larrin laughs again.

"Nah, he's done his part for today. I'd rather harass you for a little bit," she says and just like that squeezes Rodney's ass, which makes him yelp in surprise and jump away.

John can't help but laugh at Rodney's outrage and gets the annoyed face for it

"Hey!" Rodney protests. "Tell your girlfriend to keep her hands to herself!"

Larrin puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head.

"I'm not his girlfriend," she says, and John shrugs at Rodney's surprise.

"Not my girlfriend, she can put her hands wherever she wants," he agrees, a little envious that she can put them on Rodney's ass like that.

With a huff Rodney goes back to work, purposely ignoring them both. John makes a 'what can you do face' at Larrin and they just settle in to watch, side by side, knowing that sooner or later Rodney won't be able to keep silent anymore. John gestures his watch and five minutes while Larrin counters with three. The bet is on.

***

One night Larrin takes out leather straps from a box near her bed and John just grins.

"How shocking!" he says, surprised this hasn't happened earlier considering how fast she tied him up the first couple times they met.

Larrin smirks as she binds his wrist to the headboard. He pulls a bit and the leather is soft but solid, sending a thrill down his spine. He's pretty flexible when it comes to sex, but he's always been happier relinquishing control.

"Now now, be a good boy and shut up," she says, putting a finger on his lips. John easily falls into the part, letting her do as she pleases

It may be because he can't touch back, but this time Larrin takes her time licking and biting him all over, bringing him close to the edge without letting him fall over and over again. By the fourth time he's straining against the bounds and he would beg if he was allowed. She finally straddles his thighs and sinks on his cock, riding him for all she's worth as he plants his feet on the bed and pistons his hips up until he's spent, sweet release hitting him and making everything light up for a perfect moment.

***

On the way back to his quarters, legs still a bit shaky, John runs into Ronon who's staying next door. He must reek of sex and Ronon gives him a knowing once over.

"Do you know what you're doing, Sheppard?" he asks.

John grins and claps him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, it's just a bit of fun. And it's the same for her." And it's just that, too, no unwanted feelings involved, at least on his part and he'd be really surprised if Larrin felt more than a certain fondness for him back.

Ronon's eyebrow expresses a bit of skepticism, but he lets it go.

***

John can't help but think that he's been in this position before, completely clothed and tied to a chair. The gag is new, though, and another difference is that he's set in the corner of Larrin's quarter, in plain view of the bed; she left with a devilish smile, promising he'd love what she had planned. At first he thought it was just the waiting game, but as he hears the door opens up Larrin is clearly bringing someone in with her. A threesome, then, or at least watching Larrin having sex with someone else and John can't help the surge of lust at the idea, it's been a long time since he did that. There's something mumbled and it's a male voice, sending even more sparks down John's spine. Even if he just gets to watch, this is going to be so good, and his dick is doing a valiant effort to tent his BDUs.

John tries to guess which Travelers it's going to be, maybe Larrin's second in command, Syd, who had started giving John even more of the stink eye since him and his boss started to fuck. He's rough looking but has nice shoulders, John wouldn't mind at all. What he's not expecting, though, is Rodney and his eyes widen as he walks into the room, Larrin all but wrapped around him. Rodney spots him immediately too and freezes, mirroring John's shocked expression.

"What?" Rodney tries to get away from Larrin but she laughs.

"Relax, McKay. John doesn't mind. Do you?" she asks him and with his throat completely dry, John shakes his head no. God no. He'd _pay_ to have the chance to watch Rodney having sex.

Rodney still looks uncomfortable and Larrin takes his face between her hands and kisses him deep, making him yield a little bit.

"John's a kinky little fucker, he's going to sit there and watch, that's it. Come on, McKay. Are you not man enough for a little audience?" she cajoles and dares at the same time.

It seems to make up Rodney's mind.

"Okay, fine," he says, unable to resist the prospect of sex offered to him on a plate and he starts undressing Larrin, hands sure and efficient like in everything else.

There is nothing tentative about him at all, only confidence as he manhandles Larrin on the bed and gets rid of his own clothes. It's like he decided to ignore that John is even in the room, which is fine by him. It's not the first time John has had a glimpse of a naked Rodney, with the showers on Atlantis and some missions gone wrong, but it's the first time he has the excuse to watch, where he's _expected_ to watch and he's going to take it all in even if it kills him.

John's so hard it's uncomfortable, unable to put any kind of pressure on his dick as he watches Rodney methodically take Larrin apart as he goes down on her, making her cry out in pleasure. She's a lot less directive with Rodney than she is with him, probably because Rodney keeps control of everything, making her bend this way and that when he decides so. He makes her come at least three times with his mouth before fucking her and the only reason John hasn't came in his pants is because he can't manage any friction with the way he's bound, even from his own clothes.

John can't hear the words but Rodney doesn't stop talking in Larrin's ear, making her arch into him and beg for more like he's never heard. She's gorgeous but it's Rodney that John can't tear his eyes from, mesmerized by the flex of his gorgeous ass and the way he snaps his hips. After he comes, grunting and burrowing his face in Larrin's neck, Rodney stays still for a minute before sitting on the bed and he starts to get dressed. Not once does he turn towards John, who doesn't quite know how this is going to turn out. He sure hopes it's not going to shoot their friendship to hell because, as hot as it was, it would not have been worth it. Larrin is lying boneless in the bed, trailing a finger on Rodney's thigh and she whispers something in his hear when he bends to kiss her before he goes, still avoiding John at all costs.

Larrin flips to her stomach and looks at John with a grin as soon as the door is closed. "You liked that, right, seeing your friend fuck me?"

John swallows and nods, there is no way he can hide how much he's aroused right now. Larrin gets up and stalks over with a shit eating grin.

"He's good. Even better than I thought he would be," she purrs as she gets to John's chair and starts to undo his belt and fly.

The brush of her fingers is almost enough to set him off, especially when she pulls his hard dick out of his boxers. She straddles his thighs and lowers herself on him, hot and wet and the mere idea to be right where Rodney was only minutes ago, of fucking her when she's slick from his come makes him lose it right there and then, coming his brains out, extra hard as if his world is turning inside out. Larrin makes a disappointed noise as she tries to fuck his softening dick and he mumbles against the gag until she takes it off.

"Untie me, I'll make it up to you," John says, voice raspy, and as soon as she has freed his hands he picks her up and all but throws her back on the bed, making her laugh. His main focus is to lick her clean, chasing the taste of Rodney among his own, and he resolves he won't stop until she forcibly pushes him away.

***

John has rarely been as nervous as when he comes back to the quarters he shares with Rodney; he really, really hopes Larrin's little stunt didn't damage their friendship. After a deep breath, he vows to act as casual as he can when he opens the door. Rodney's there, jumping a bit when he enters but he goes back to type on his laptop

"Oh, hi," Rodney says, as if he's surprised to see John already. It's been what, forty five minutes since he left Larrin's room? Enough for John to get her off a couple of times and being shown the door, as usual.

"Hey," John says with a smile, before grabbing a t-shirt and sweat pants, going for the cleaning room.

Once back in the main part of the quarters, John barely can look at Rodney without having flashbacks so he hurries to climb up in his bunk, cursing the fact he didn't put a stop to the whole thing when he could. He can't be trusted to think straight when all his blood resides in his dick, he should have known better than to give into his baser instincts.

The keyboard clattering stops after a minute and it's not surprising at all that Rodney wants to talk about this.

"Are you sure it was okay? You said that Larrin's not your girlfriend and you assured me she could do what she wanted, but..."

Guessing he should be relieved to get a chance to clear the air, John bends over the edge of his bed to looks down into Rodney's bunk.

"Totally sure, don't worry about it. Me and her... it's just sex, you know?" Rodney does look a bit less anxious after his reassurances. Feeling bold, John winks at him. "Was pretty hot, too."

He gets back in his space, heart beating fast and prays it's enough. There's a bit more typing and then it stops again.

"Wanna watch some more LOST? I want to know if they're going to finally get that raft going," Rodney says and John almost fist pumps in relief.

John gets down and purposely sits as close to Rodney as he always does to give the clear message that nothing should change.

"Do you think the creepy Canadian will come back as a zombie?" John teases, and he gets his leg slapped in return.

"Please, keep your inane theories to yourself," Rodney says after scoffing a little bit, and then installs the laptop on their legs. The first minutes are a bit tense, but it everything soon goes back to normal as they can't help commenting the action, whether they were rolling their eyes at certain decisions made on the show or agreeing that Sayid is practically the only one with a functioning brain most days. Slowly John relaxes and lets himself believe everything is going to be okay.

***

They make to Andola, finally, and the Travelers decide they prefer sending down a shuttle to the planet instead of landing the Naenli. It makes sense, fuel wise, and John doesn't care as long as he can go get his people. Rodney is all but bouncing with excitement to go do some gate diagnosis instead of tinkering on the engines, so he's in a great mood.

"How long will you need to do all the tests you need to do?" John asks as Syd pilots the little aircraft towards the field that holds the stargate. He can't see anyone, though there were life-signs on the ship's detectors. It's normal, though, his men wouldn't break cover for ships of unknown origin.

"It depends. A minimum of 20 minutes, I'd say, more if there's something different in the readings than what I could get on Atlantis. The best would be to set up hardware and monitor for a full 36 hours," Rodney says, double checking that he has all of his cables and clamps.

"That's what we'll do, then. Better be thorough before moving on." John double checks his P-90, but the Andolans have always been friendly. They might be on edge if the gate is blocked but John's pretty sure that there shouldn't be problems. He taps his radio, now that they are in range, and hopes for the best.

"Lieutenant Gillis, do you read?" John hails.

"Gillis, reading you loud and clear, Colonel. Let me say it's a pleasure to hear you," is the immediate answers and John grins.

"We had to hitchhike, sorry it took so long," he says.

Syd lands the shuttle right next to the DHD and John grabs the back of Rodney's vest when he goes for the door.

"Hey, wait a sec, let's make sure it's safe," John says.

When the door opens, it doesn't take more than a second before they are assaulted by the horrible smell of decay coming from a flower that grows everywhere on Andola and that permeates everything on the planet. Rodney makes a dramatic gagging noise and he suddenly doesn't seem as eager to get out.

"God, I always forget how bad it is," Rodney says, bringing his left wrist to his nose. They've learned to put some menthol vaporub gel or something that smells strongly on their person to try and make it better, though masks are an insult for the Andolans.

Taking a shallow breath through his mouth, John gestures for Ronon to follow him out. The first people they see are Gillis and Luther from AR-4, though, coming out of the trees and grinning wide. They have a couple of Andolans with them, looking just as happy to see them. As they shake hands, Rodney comes down the ramp to say hi, too.

"Hey, Doc!" Gillis greets enthusiastically. "You came to fix our gate?"

"I couldn't find the problem," Dr Luther says, looking sheepish.

In a rare display of empathy, Rodney shakes his head no to reassure him.

"Oh, no, you did nothing wrong, it's a generalized gate problem as far as we can tell." He's hooking up cables and his laptop to the DHD and the gate, helped by Bedaw. Dr Luther looks a bit reassured, looking over Rodney's shoulder.

"It crossed my mind, since I didn't find anything obviously wrong. I did monitor the gate energy output for days on end, trying to find a pattern," Luther says.

Rodney perks up at that, "Oh, excellent! I'll look at it in a second."

John feels Gillis come and stand next to him. He doesn't look worse for wear, which is great.

"How's it doing, Lieutenant?"

"Fine, Sir. We knew you'd find a way to get us out. I've sent for Osha and Gagnon."

It warms John right up, the quiet confidence. Syd, on the other hand, seems in a hurry to go back to his ship.

"How long, still?" he asks, looking a little green around the gills. "Surely breathing this air can't be good."

Gillis frowns and then shrugs. "Oh the urgus flower, right. I can barely smell it anymore."

"Good for you, man," John says. "Good for you. I'll let Rodney finish his setup and he'll explain what we know afterwards."

***

With the data gathered on Andola and a new perspective in the person of Dr Luther, Rodney is busier than ever. John finds himself spending quite a bit of time with Larrin in the next couple of days, and since they don't have much to discuss, it ends up in sex. Big surprise. The woman has a very high sex drive and John's along for the ride, even though after the stunt with Rodney the other night it's not quite as exciting as it was before. John is conscious that he has a problem: a woman as sexy as Larrin should be enough.

They are en route towards P6A-606 to check its gate, the planet just a couple of days away, and Rodney's hit a dead end again. They've exchanged data back and forth with Zelenka, but no clear solution is apparent for the moment. John isn't surprised that Rodney decided to go back to the Naenli's engines for a little bit, to assuage the frustration.

"I tell you, there's something going on with that hatch thing. I bet there's someone in it," Rodney's saying while hitting a stuck valve with a crowbar.

"I totally agree with you there, buddy," John says, cracking his neck. Maybe they'll manage more LOST episodes tonight, now that Rodney stopped working 19 hours a day.

He's about to suggest they go get something to eat when Larrin comes in the room. Immediately the air is charged, as it's the first time they've been just the three of them together since That Time, capitalized. Rodney shuts up and starts hitting on the valve harder while John crosses his arms over his chest, curious to know how she's going to play this. Larrin barely spares John a look and goes to lean on the table just by Rodney's side. She stays silent, observing Rodney patiently until he cracks, turning towards her.

"Okay, what now? What do you want, Larrin?" he asks.

"You?" she says, as if it's that simple. Maybe it is, for her. Rodney doesn't have time to reply that she's continuing. "It was good, and I want more if you're up for it. You decide if Sheppard stays or goes."

That doesn't sting, exactly, but John feels a bit redundant at the moment. Rodney's already a little flushed and obviously interested, just by the heated way he's looking at Larrin. John should make it easier for him and he's about to get up and leave when Rodney speaks.

"He can stay, I don't mind."

John swallows hard and he finds out it's impossible to move after that. He gets more comfortable on the box he's been sitting on and watches as Larrin all but purrs, hooking her arms around Rodney's neck for a kiss.

"You've just made him a very happy boy," Larrin says, loud enough for John to hear it and he feels himself flush.

Rodney slants a sideways look at John, considering, and that's like a jolt to John's dick. "You don't say."

This time John's not tied up or gagged, but he still tries to be as non-intrusive as he can. The upside is that he can press down on his erection to try and stall off the inevitable, though it doesn't work so well. Watching Rodney undress Larrin and then bend her over a table is hot beyond belief. Just like the last time, Rodney's telling her who knows what, constantly whispering in her ear. John has no idea if it's praise or total filth, but it does seem to work on Larrin who once again turns to putty in Rodney's hands, who takes her quite roughly by behind. Who knew he had it in him? It hits John's buttons like whoa and he's an air-breath away from coming without even having shoved a hand into his own pants.

When Larrin cries out her release, Rodney talks her through it and unexpectedly looks directly at John for a second, blue eyes heated, before bowing down and biting her neck. That's it, game over, John's orgasm hits him, making him groan as he shoots in his boxers, too turned on to be embarrassed by it (for the moment). Rodney climaxes too and they all pant in the otherwise silent small room for a couple of minutes. Larrin's the first to get her composure back and when she starts getting dressed Rodney straightens his pants - he'd only had shoved them down his thighs; John hopes he won't end up with a wet patch on his BDUs, so re-arranges his un-tucked shirt tails to cover up.

Larrin whispers something in Rodney's ear that startles a laugh out of him and he kisses her with a smile. She then walks to John and plant her hands high on his thigh and leans in.

"See how good I am to you," she says against his cheek and John is suddenly certain that she knows about how much he wants _Rodney_ , which could be catastrophic if she opens her mouth. He tenses up and Larrin must read the panic on his face because she rolls her eyes. "Hush, it's okay, I won't say. Relax and enjoy, I've got this."

"Thank you," John says, though he's not sure playing with those issues is such a great idea.

She kisses him, oddly sweetly, then pats his cheek before she goes. John looks at the door closing behind her and he almost jumps out of his skin when Rodney talks.

"It really works for you, just watching?" he says, gesturing to John's person with a bit of emphasis towards his crotch.

Reflexively John tugs his shirt tails down a bit more, but he can't help but snark, "What do you think?"

Rodney sniggers and John smiles back, happy it's not tense like the other day.

"I don't know, I'm a bit more hands on," Rodney says, and he starts packing his stuff.

"I saw that," John says, shifting, and yeah, he can't wait to change, this cooling spunk in his underwear situation is a bit disgusting. The weirdest thing right now is that... well things are not weird. Maybe Larrin knows what she's doing, after all, and for now John's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

***

With everything that is happening with Larrin and Rodney, John is almost lulled into a false sense of security, as if this trip is a bubble outside of time itself to make some of his fantasies come true. He's abruptly reminded it's not the case when they get to Aral to find it devastated by a Wraith culling. If there are survivors, they don't dare come out when they assess the damages. It has happened not that long ago, judging by the food only half spoiled in the houses of the village near the gate, chairs upturned when the inhabitants tried to run for their lives. Ronon kicks one out of frustration and then shatters it against the wall.

"I tell you, Sheppard, this whole gate thing, it's the Wraith," Ronon says, and he keeps putting his hand on his blaster, jonesing to use it.

"Yeah, I think so too," John agrees. This is what they feared from the start, finding worlds that hadn't stood a chance against the Wraith. But what can they do? Unless Rodney and the science team manage to fix the gates, there is no way that they can help anyone.

"I never thought I'd say this," Ronon mumbles, visibly appalled by what he's about to declare. "Maybe we could try to contact _him_."

It's said with such disdain that John doesn't have a doubt. He's thought the same, anyway.

"Todd? Yeah. I don't know how, though."

"Let's go ask McKay," Ronon says, striding out.

John follows: Rodney most probably took the readings he need by now, anyway.

***

Larrin outright refuses that they broadcast a coded signal from her ship in hope it reaches Todd. Rodney hisses and argues, but in the end it's her decision and John respects that. They tell Zelenka in the next transmission that it might be time to try and know more from that front, which no doubt will go through Woolsey with long debates that John is not sorry he's going to miss.

Rodney says that the info he got on the new gate was a little different, but not enough to find a solution. It does boost morale a bit, though, as at least it's a step in the right direction. Another thing that John witnesses is how the confidence Rodney has inexplicably displayed when it comes to Larrin seems to spread out to other woman, especially if they are Travelers. It's like getting laid and being told he's good gives him the nerves to flirt and John's not going to lie, he doesn't like it much. John might, slightly, cockblock him every chance he has.

They are in their quarters, John cleaning his gun while Rodney fiddles with a small motor. Rodney's chatting about how he used to drive his father crazy by dismantling almost everything with a motor at the tender age of 8 years old. It must have been something and John can totally imagine it. He's having fun with the idea of a curious tiny Rodney, so he's surprised when the conversation makes a 180 degree turn.

"You know, if you wanted to do more than just watch, we could totally blow Larrin's mind," Rodney says, casual, and John almost drops his gun.

John has to clear his throat to talk and even then his voice is hoarse. God. "Yeah, okay. Come on."

He gets up, looks at Rodney who's watching him with curiosity.

"Now?"

"Why not?" John says with a shrug. You don't put an idea like that and his head and expect him to wait. Rodney smiles, happy to see him so eager and follows out of the room while John goes towards Larrin's quarters. He hopes she's there and up for this, because Little John sure is.

"Excellent. I've been thinking... for a guy who's always flirting, you don't seem to close the deal much," Rodney muses and John laughs.

"You're just realizing that?" he quips back and can't believe it took the guy six years to reach that very accurate conclusion.

The conversation is derailed when John rings Larrin's door chime. She's there indeed, even though she looks a bit surprised: it's the first time John goes to her and not the other way around. John slouches against the door frame and smiles.

"Hey, you busy?" he asks, subtle as a 2 by 4 to the head.

Her eyebrow rise as she looks at him and Rodney in turn and smirks. "No, not really, why?"

John stumbles in the room when Rodney shoves him in with a hand between the shoulder blades.

"Oh, please, let's not play stupid. Clothes off, everyone," he says, following John in and Larrin laughs.

She follows his instructions, though, John too, and they're soon on the bed while Rodney directs the show. John doesn't quite dare to do anything that isn't asked of him, afraid to break the spell.

"If there's something you're not comfortable with, you say it immediately, understood? We'll stop, no question asked," Rodney tells Larrin, but she only laughs in his face.

"Yeah, sure." The strong undercurrent of 'bring it on' is right there in her expression.

Rodney pushes her on her back, settling between her legs and he makes a gesture towards John. "Blow him, then."

Larrin grins at John who straddles her chest and leans both hands against the wall over the bed, heart jack hammering already. It's a blessing that he can't see Rodney in the position they are now, or else he'd shoot way too soon. Larrin licks and sucks him slowly, oh so good, though it's obvious that she's distracted by whatever Rodney's doing to her at the moment. She can't help but to curse, eyes rolling in her head and she's coming not five minutes in, letting go of John's dick to arch her neck back in the throws of pleasure. John circles the base of his cock and clamps down, determined to stall it off at least for a few more minutes.

"Do you want to go first?" Rodney asks and John nods.

"Yeah," he rasps. He's pretty sure he could not make it through Rodney fucking Larrin, anyway.

Rodney changes position as John is the one who now settles between Larrin's thighs. Rodney lies by her side and caresses her breasts, pinching her nipples. This time, John's close enough to hear what Rodney's telling her.

"There we go, that's it. John's gonna fuck you now, nice and slow."

John clenches his teeth as he slides in, not sure he can do nice and slow very long.

"Come on," Rodney urges Larrin's legs up until she hooks her ankles at the small of John's back. "Yeah, good, you look fantastic. You've got the best legs, you know that?" He keeps complimenting her, telling her how good she is, and how Rodney can't wait to take her, too.

John dips down to suck at Larrin's breast, enthralled by what Rodney's saying just as much as she is, surprised that he's lasting as long as he does because it wouldn't take much to set him off. Larrin's meeting him thrust for thrust, probably close to coming again and John focuses on that, doing his best to make it good for her.

"I wish I had a camera," Rodney says, voice husky like John's never heard it. "You guys are so fucking hot."

The mere idea of it, that Rodney would like to record this and maybe watch it again makes John move a bit faster, a bit harder, head burrowed in Larrin's neck now. He's totally unprepared when he feels a hand sliding down his spine from neck to waist, his brain shorting because he knows perfectly well, he can in fact _feel_ , that Larrin's gripping his arms at the moment so that can only mean Rodney's touch. John arches into it like a cat and cries out, his orgasm torn out of him suddenly. He whites out for blissed seconds, locking in place, and when he comes back down he's being gently rolled to the side.

"Come on, come on," Larrin's saying, urgent, and John's slow as molasses, not quite sure what is the problem.

"Shhh, wait a second, let's just..." Still dazed, John watches with half closed eyes how Rodney takes the place he was just a minute ago, hiking Larrin's legs up and around himself and then burying into Larrin's cunt. "Jesus fuck, you always feel so fantastic."

"Fuck me!" Larrin whines, hitting the small of Rodney's back with her heels. "I'm so close!"

"Yes, okay, here we go," Rodney says, starting to move, shallow little thrusts and John's just there, inches away. He could reach out and touch Rodney, he's pretty sure it would be okay, but John doesn't dare. He can slide his hand down Larrin's stomach, though, slip his fingers down through the curls of her mound and reach her clit, inches of where she's joined with Rodney. She groans at the touch, moving her hips faster. "Hey, look at that, he's not completely useless after he comes after all," Rodney says and John snorts, burrowing his face between Larrin's shoulder and the bed.

If he looks at Rodney's face now John's afraid he's going to read all of what he's feeling too easily. He rubs his fingers in fast circles as Larrin bucks up and comes, crying out loudly. John takes his hand away and he can feel by the way the bed and Larrin's moving that Rodney's fucking with more purpose now, with sexy little grunts. It's Larrin's turn to talk, urging him on and it's soon over, Rodney stilling above her before slumping down. John dares to un-tuck his face and meets Rodney's eyes, who grins at him, unbelievably smug which makes him laugh. God, he has it bad. If he had a bit of nerves left in his body, maybe John could gather up the steam to be frustrated that nothing ever changes.

***

The problem with space ships - Atlantis not withstanding - is that it's hard to find space to run. John and Ronon have worked out a little route that is not optimal but will do. Since they boarded the Naenli and especially since he started sleeping with Larrin, John has cut down on the time he spends with the big guy, who of course always sees more than everyone realizes.

"I'm only going to bring this up one more time, Sheppard," Ronon says one morning. "Do you know what you're doing?"

John won't play stupid, but he doesn't see how this could even qualify as Ronon's business.

"I told you it's just a little fun," John says. "Larrin..."

"I don't give a fuck about Larrin," Ronon cuts in. "It's whatever you've got going on that involves McKay that has me worried."

And fuck, John was hoping that no one had picked on that particular development. Yes, they're both fucking Larrin but for now it doesn't seem to have changed anything. John's been hoping that maybe, just maybe, something more can come out of it but it could take time. Rodney hasn't shown any indication that he's anything but straight, and if that's what John has to work with right now, so be it. He'll take what he can have while it lasts.

"We won't be on this ship indefinitely, you know," Ronon continues and John almost loses his stride.

Yeah. He might be hoarding moments that approach slightly what he wants but that's just it, it won't last and he's setting himself for heartbreak.

"I know," John says, pushing a little faster, wanting his legs to burn. "Believe me, I know."

***

Curse Ronon for bursting his bubble. John should go get cleaned up but on the way to his quarters he walks by the deck and sees that Rodney's in full rant mode with Syd, hand flying everywhere. He slows down and decides to stay close, just in case this particular spat turns ugly, since tension's been building for a little while between the two. After a couple of minutes it seems to calm down and really, John should leave but watching out for Rodney is deeply ingrained. And he won't lie, he allows his eyes to linger on his shoulders, back and ass more these days and it's a nice way to start the day.

"He can hold his own," Larrin says and John thinks - not for the first time - that he ought to put a bell on her, she has the knack to appear when he doesn't expect her.

"Oh, I know," John agrees. Larrin comes to stand at his back, hooks her chin over his shoulder while snaking an arm around his waist. She's rarely this demonstrative, even in private. "What do you think, John, should we find someone else to play with?"

It would definitely be the sane thing to do. So if the question is indeed _should_ they find someone else, then yes, they really should so he keeps his sanity and the whole situation doesn't blow up in his face. But if it's about if he _wants_ to find someone else, then it's is a big resounding no, so he doesn't answer.

"I'm no fool, John Sheppard," Larrin says after a moment.

"I know that," he admits, shoulders sagging. Not only does she know he wants Rodney, she's probably on to the fact that he has deep feelings on top. "But it's complicated."

"Come on," she says, tugging him towards the corridor. "Let's distract you for a while."

***

Distraction. Right. Oh, it's not that sex isn't a good distraction, it sure is, but when what's bothering John is sex in the first place, he's not quite sure it's totally working. Larrin seems to be using all of the knowledge she gathered about what he likes; it's incredibly good, but John just can't shut off his mind completely, thoughts flashing on how it was when Rodney was there and how it's not quite the same now that he isn't.

It's driving him _nuts_.

Larrin's enjoying watching him squirm against his bonds, taking her pleasure unashamedly. He's fucked her through two orgasms and he's drenched with sweat, chasing his own release that is just there but that he can't quite seem to reach. Larrin clenches around him and pinches his nipples, making him groan.

"What's the problem, John?" she asks with a devious grin as she sits up, riding his cock with slow rolls of her hips. She tucks the hair that has been plastered to her cheek behind her ear and fondles one of her breasts, putting on a show. She's smoking hot and she knows it, uses it and won't apologize for it: it's one of the things John loves the most about her. The problem, though, is that John can't seem to come.

"Untie me," he asks. Maybe if he can touch her, grip her hips to make her move how he needs it...

"Why would I do that? You're lovely like this."

"But I can't..." If she just went a little faster, but she seems intent to torture with a slow up and down. "Please, Larrin, you're killing me here!"

And that's when she starts playing dirty.

"What do you think McKay would do if he was here, mmm?" she asks sweetly, smirking when he can't help but buck up into her. Just the suggestion has him almost there.

"He'd be behind you, guiding your pace on me," John rasps. He can see it, too: one of Rodney's big hands on her hip, the other on her breast, rolling her nipple.

Larrin flushes a little more deeply, upping her pace with a moan and it's reassuring that he's not the only one wishing for it.

"What else?"

"He'd... he'd say all of those things he says, how good and how hot you are." John gulps, straining against his bonds and the pain helps him to focus.

"God, yes." Larrin is moving in earnest, now. "I should... I should have known he'd be great at sex talk," she says, a little breathless now.

"Now he'd slide one hand to your pussy, get you off with his fingers," John manages to say, seeing imaginary Rodney clearly in his mind, how Larrin would lean back on his bulky frame and rest her head on his shoulder. When Larrin only closes her eyes at the suggestion, John speaks up again, makes it an order. "Do it, touch yourself."

Her eyes shoot open and she obeys, putting her other hand in the middle of John's chest for support. Larrin's rhythm stutters, but she makes amazing little grunting sounds.

"That's it," John says, seconds away now by the feel of it, the pressure building steadily at the base of his spine. "Yeah, come on, you can do it. Rub harder, faster, he would make you take it even if it's too much..."

When Larrin gets off this time, spasming hard around him, John follows suit with a cry. _Finally_ is the only thing he can think of as he comes, riding the wave for all he's got. When Larrin lies down on his chest, panting, John wishes he could soothe her down a little. _Like Rodney would do,_ his traitorous mind suggest.

"Okay, so that worked for me," Larrin eventually says, getting off him and untying his wrists.

John rubs at them: they're sore with red marks that might even stay a little while. And yes, imagining Rodney here with them obviously worked for him too, but John can feel that he's going really fast into unhealthy territory. It scares him and makes him want to bolt.

"Maybe we should stop," John says, surprised he said it out loud.

Larrin gets up on an elbow and frowns at him. "Stop bringing McKay into this?"

"I mean stop altogether. Don't get me wrong, it's been great but..."

That was definitely not the right thing to say, because Larrin's face closes off.

"It's been great but what? You can't take the heat? Fuck you, Sheppard."

This is not going well and John puts a hand on Larrin's lower back.

"Come on, you knew it was not going..."

Larrin drapes the bed sheet around her body and sits up, pointing to the door.

"You don't want to be here, you go. I'm not forcing you into anything and I never did. You want to stop? Fine. I'm warning you, though, I'm not done with McKay."

John gathers his clothes and gets dressed, in a hurry to leave now.

"That's fine," he says, even though his stomach clenches at the idea. She can do whatever she wants, Rodney too. "It was great, Larrin, and it's not you..."

He gets a pillow to the side of the head for that.

"Get out," she says, but she doesn't sound _that_ mad, just frustrated. John thinks they're going to be fine. He even dares to joke, once he's got his boots on and is ready to go.

"We can still be friends, right?" he says, and he must have hit the tone he was going for because Larrin scoffs, the corner of her mouth going up.

"You are ridiculous," she says.

John smiles and bends to brush his lips on hers. Since she doesn't even try to punch him in the face, he considers it a win.

"You're great, Larrin, I mean it."

She passes her fingers through his hair, as if trying to make it behave, and bring him down for another light kiss.

"If you change your mind, my door will open for you," she says.

After a small shrug John straightens up. "Who knows, but thanks. I'm one lucky guy."

***

John doesn't tell Rodney that he sort of broke things off with Larrin. First it would be kind of an awkward conversation to have and, second... well if Larrin and Rodney decide to keep sleeping together it's their choice and John has nothing to say about it, but he's sure not going to push the man into it.

John's going over the data transmission that Zelenka got from Kagan's team - who thankfully rescued AR-7 from a hairy situation on P9X-112 - even though he doesn't quite understand what all of the numbers mean. He looks for the sinusoidal wave of energy output Rodney showed him the other day and squints. Is that the usual or different? He's about to open another file when Rodney enters the room.

His cheeks are a little pink, hair not quite where it usually is and John immediately knows it happened, especially since Rodney seems to avoid looking at him. John had a very stern talk with himself about not getting jealous if it did, but he cannot help but feel the burn in the pit of his belly.

"Hey, hi. We've got data from P9X-112," John says, determined to make this as normal as possible.

Immediately Rodney drops the guilty act and stalks over, almost tearing the laptop from his hands. "Really? That's great."

"AR-7 is fine, by the way."

"Oh." Rodney stops checking the computer, the guilty look flashing on his face once again as he looks at John. "Excellent. That's Edison's team, right?"

"Yes. P9X-112 has been on the verge of civil war for decades, and the gate situation didn't improve that at all. Let's say it was time they got out of there," John says.

"I just don't get these people, really," Rodney says, before sitting on his bunk with the laptop. John's curious to know if there's something in the data, after all, so he jumps down from his and goes to sit by Rodney to look on. And shit, yeah, Rodney smells of sex and John should have waited for him to go get cleaned up.

"So?" John asks, determined to be an adult about this.

"Give me a minute to set the algorithms and the comparison program," Rodney says.

He waits patiently, trying to memorize the steps Rodney takes in getting there though as usual he's clicking and typing fast, using custom made shortcuts. There is indeed something, they see about 20 minutes later, another little variation that seems in harmony with what they found on P6A-606. Rodney's types excitedly his findings to Zelenka, which John relays immediately. If they can continue to make progress, maybe they'll find a way out of this mess.

"It was weird," Rodney says as he goes over the data once more and John is about to get back to his bed.

John stops to throw a questioning look at him. "What was weird?"

Rodney flushes a bit and his shoulders seem to hunch on themselves.

"You know. You not being there."

Oh, _that_. Not that John wants to talk about the amazing sex Rodney has had and most probably still will have with Larrin, ever. "I don't mind, if you're worried about that."

"Oh, no, well maybe a bit. But she does what she wants and everything. I'm just saying it was weird," Rodney says.

John can't help but to feel a little warmed by that, as pathetic as it is. He throws a smile at Rodney.

"What, not enough audience for your exhibitionist kink?"

"Shut up." Rodney rolls his eyes at the ribbing and John laughs as he climbs up on his bed.

"Get some sleep, Rodney," John says before punching his poor excuse of a pillow in a shape that might or might not prove to be comfortable. "The data will still be there tomorrow."

"Okay, okay, in a minute." This of course means at least an hour in Rodney-speak. John's not surprised the tip tap of the keyboard is what lulls him to sleep.

***

It's a couple of days before Rodney brings up the subject in conversation, just as John was going to fall asleep.

"Larrin said that you're the one who asked to stop."

John inwardly cringes. He was so happy repressing everything like a champ.

"Yeah."

"I don't get it, to be honest. She's hot and she wants you, why would you decide to not do it anymore?" Of course that would baffle Rodney.

"She is, but that's not... look, I just want to step back a little," John says, hoping Rodney will drop the subject. There is a silence after that, and it stretches a bit until Rodney speaks again.

"Is it because of me?"

John's heart drops, because if yes, it's because of Rodney, it's not whatever makes him sound so insecure right now, as if Larrin wanting Rodney has pushed John away because he doesn't like or enjoy it.

"Shit, no, nothing like that. It was very hot when we all... and I really don't mind you and Larrin and everything, I swear. It's me, okay?"

Rodney hums a little. "I bet you'd still be in if it was another girl with you both."

John can't help but laugh out loud.

"No, if you were a girl, it wouldn't change anything," John says, convinced of it. Well except if that hypothetical girl Rodney would want him back, which would get Larrin out of the picture very fast.

"How... are you even normal, Sheppard?" Rodney says, disbelieving. "Who refuses no strings attached sex with two women? Sure, for beautiful people like you it might be easy but someone like me? Ha. I don't refuse threesomes, even hypothetically speaking."

"You talk as if this happens to me all the time," John says, still amused. Rodney's always had a tendency to overestimate John's sex life.

"Okay, then tell me. When was your last time with two girls?" Rodney asks.

A quick count to get the time frame right and John answers.

"Eight years ago, Miami." It had been pretty wild, that John will admit. Oh, the joys of Spring Break even if he'd felt borderline like an old perv at the time, at the ripe age of 32.

"Really?" Rodney's voice is rising, sure sign he's been caught by surprise and getting agitated. "But what about P5U-338? I distinctly remember you with those two hot brunettes..."

It's true that the solstice festival on P5U-338 has nothing on Spring Break in Miami, but even if he had indeed made out with two girls for most of the evening, he'd finished the night with only one.

"Well if just kissing and groping counts, sure. I did go home with Fili, but the other one found someone else."

"Oh."

"What about you?" John's honestly curious about this.

"Hum. P5U-338?" Rodney sounds slightly sheepish and John laughs again though he hadn't liked it much at the time. He remembers sneaking glances towards Rodney on the other side of the fire pit, twined with two girls, blonde and eager. Making out with both Fili and her cousin had been part retaliation on his part, not that he's proud of that fact.

"I bet it was hot," John says, his imagination recycling the scenarios he'd made up that night.

"Oh yes," Rodney says, fervently and John dick twitches. Shit. He needs to steer this conversation away, or he'll end up with a hard on.

"You've got to get something straight at last, Rodney. You've had more sex than me since we got to Pegasus."

"What?"

"You heard me! There's what, the wonder twins on P5U-338, that girl on the bear planet, the maid in Harmony's castle," John does realize that keeping a list is definitely crossing a line so he rapidly jumps to the most important even if he _knows_ there are more, "and all of those months with Katie and Jennifer. I don't even come close."

"No way," Rodney says.

"Fili on P5U-338, Teer a couple of times when I was in that time dilatation field plus maybe five one night stands total, including on Atlantis," John pointedly does not mention there were 2 guys among those. "And Chaya, if glowy fusion even counts."

"And Larrin," Rodney adds.

"Yeah. And Larrin. But that's new, we never did it before." And fuck it if he didn't just have more sex in the last two weeks than he's had in the last six years altogether.

The silence that follows is astonished.

"But that doesn't make sense!" Rodney finally says. "I mean, you could have anyone!"

John snorts because that is so not true. But it is flattering and way better than Rodney gloating that he's got laid more than him.

"It doesn't mean it would be a good idea," John says. He's not stupid, he knows that off world a real move on his part could be misinterpreted easily and lead to problems.

"How surprisingly responsible of you."

John laughs this time. He doesn't dare to peer down and see the look on Rodney's face right now. "I've always been more of a flirt, anyway."

The chase being more exciting than the kill and all that. Maybe that's his problem with Rodney, unattainable and ever taunting, with no resolution in sight. Not that with the way it's been going with Larrin and everything that he could hope to get it out of his system anytime soon by finally having sex with the guy, as his obsession is getting worse.

"Seriously, what a waste. Are you sure that you don't want to continue with Larrin?"

The way it's phrased, John doesn't know if he means just Larrin or the three of them together, so he tries to spin his next question as a joke.

"What, are you guys missing me or something?" John won't lie, his heart is beating hard in his chest now. That Larrin misses the whole threesome setups, maybe, but what about Rodney?

"Hum. Well, yeah. I mean... it's great but come on, _threesome_." Rodney stresses the word as if it's something to be worshipped and John bites his lip not to laugh again. "I think we've established here that they are hard to come by, and me with people as hot as you two? You've got to understand it's, like, unhoped-for."

Of course it has to do with Rodney's special mix of ego and insecurities. And well, sex. For many guys it's as simple as that, until it's not anymore. Feelings definitely don't seem to enter the equation and John's not sure if he should be relived or bummed out. The fact that Rodney only sees Larrin as a sex partner for the moment is definitely in the win column.

"But we did... I mean, you had your threesome now."

"Yes, and it was really good, don't get me wrong. But... there's so much _more_ we could do," Rodney says, fervent.

And fuck his life but John knows, okay, he can imagine all the ways a threesome with another man and a woman can go, though it's not all in mainstream porn. And he really kinds of want it, danger to his heart be damned.

"Are you telling me I should help you live out your threesome fantasies?" John asks.

"What are friends for?" Comes the immediate retort and boy, only Rodney would think this is a normal request.

"I'll think about it," John says, but he already knows that there is a good chance he's going to give in.

***

John's eating in the Naenli's mess hall when Rodney sits in front of him. He's been eating almost exclusively the MREs they brought from Atlantis, though it's sometimes a bit hard to get them away from the Travelers. John has learned that the cookies are now a valuable bargaining chip on the vessel.

"Hey, you finished early," John says. "Done for the day?"

Rodney's been so busy all day that John had resigned himself to no new episode of LOST that night. That series is crack, seriously. Rodney's digging in his Beef Ravioli as if it's the best thing ever and hums as an answer, nodding. John lets him devour the thing for a couple of minutes.

"Sweet. What about we watch an episode or three..." John starts, but Rodney's eyes are darting right and left before he leans over the table and talks quietly.

"Maybe later? See, I am sort of expected somewhere?" Rodney's trying hard not to look too excited but it's pretty clear who's expecting him and for what.

"Oh, okay. That's cool," John says, trying to stall that sinking feeling he gets every time he thinks of Larrin and Rodney.

The other night, John hadn't been able to see Rodney's face in their conversation about sex history and the appeal of threesomes, but at this moment he's right there, looking expectant.

"Are you in?" he asks, watching him with his big blue eyes and John feels himself waver. "Please?"

That does it. John nods his approval, suddenly mute and covering it by taking a huge bite of his blueberry cobbler. Rodney beams at him and John's heart flips.

"Awesome," Rodney checks his watch. "In twenty minutes or so, is that okay?"

John nods some more, and he'd love to swallow his cobbler but it's stuck in his throat. The non verbal agreement doesn't seem to faze Rodney, who's already finished eating and is getting up.

"I'm going in the sound machine," he says, pinching at his shirt that is streaked with oil. "Will you pass by the room or..."

"I'll be right there," John says after the dessert finally goes down. He doesn't want to get to Larrin's room first, he's got a feeling she'd tease him and he's not in the mood.

Rodney leaves the mess hall with a spring in his step and John manfully resists the urge to hit his head on the table. In the history of bad decisions John's made over the years, getting back into this is most probably right up there in the top five.

***

As they walk towards Larrin's quarters, John's skin is already humming. When their shoulders brush by accident, pushed together when Rodney avoids bumping into a crew member, John almost jerks away.

"So, do you want to call the shots tonight?" Rodney asks, always with the lack of brain to mouth filter in public.

John smiles stiffly at a Traveler who is _just there_.

"No, it's good," John says. And it is; Rodney in charge is hot as hell.

They turn into the corridor leading to the living quarters that is thankfully a lot quieter. Rodney even looks around and pitches his voice low to ask the next question, for which John supposes he should be grateful.

"Are you a sub?" Direct and to the point, that's Rodney.

John takes a deep breath and decides that it's best to be honest about this. "Yes, if I find someone I can trust."

The look Rodney gives him next is analyzing and John hopes he's not blushing. Being into submission is not something he's ashamed of, not really, but it can easily be misunderstood if the other person doesn't understand power dynamics.

"Interesting," Rodney says, as if he's a piece of Ancient tech. "You do have masochistic tendencies."

And even if that's true, it's an entirely different can of worms and John fidgets, feeling as if his skin is getting too tight.

"Can we not talk about this now?" he says as they get nearer to Larrin's quarters. Thankfully Rodney lets it go.

"Anyway," Rodney says with a hand wave. "I prefer, you know..."

He lets the sentence trails and John chuckles. "Ordering people around? I _never_ would have guessed."

"Shut up," Rodney says, shoulder checking him but he's smiling.

In fact, this part of Rodney in relation to sex is unexpected and John is suddenly curious.

"Tell me, Rodney... usually around women you're, well, not smooth at all. And then Larrin comes along and you just go for it. What gives?"

Rodney shakes his head. "It's different. It's not like she'd be interested in me or anything."

Which doesn't make sense at all, she was all over him.

"I don't get it," John says.

"I mean apart from sex, which it was clear she did want and I can work with that. I wish more women would be that clear. It's not like there are chances this could lead to something, right? If she liked me, or if I wanted more with her, well..." Rodney grimaces. "That's when I lose my nerves."

John nods, getting it now. By then they are at Larrin's door and Rodney rings the chime. When the doors slide open, she's clad in tight black leather, looking sexy as fuck and John has a second when he wonders why he's been denying himself. She smiles at Rodney and her eyes then jump right to his, grinning wider. Thankfully she doesn't have time to be a smartass and say that she knew John would be back that Rodney ushers them all inside.

He gives Larrin an up and down and as John watches him, waiting for his clue, Rodney raises an eyebrow.

"What are you doing with clothes on?" Rodney says briskly, and Larrin's eyes widen slightly in surprise, then half close in arousal. John's pretty sure she would have punched him if he'd ever tried a line like that.

"Hello to you, too," she says, but her hands go up to the fastening of her top that is more or less a leather strapless bra, walking backwards towards her bed.

"On second thought," Rodney says, cocking his head, "just lose the pants, keep the rest." He then turns to John, giving him an appreciative once over too. "You in nothing but leather pants, that I'd like to see."

And Jesus, he shouldn't say things like that. John's breathing quickens and he's already hard, just like that.

"I'll find him some," Larrin says, shimmying out of her own.

John's all but frozen in place as Rodney pulls his t-shirt off and then looks at him.

"Hey-ho, naked now, chop chop!" he says.

It sets John in motion, shedding his clothes and going to the bed. He climbs on the mattress and goes to kiss Larrin, who opens up right away, kissing him back with enthusiasm.

"Welcome back," she says against his lips when they part and John smiles, at last.

"Thanks. Hi."

John's always aware of exactly where Rodney is in a room, so he's got a second of warning before the bed dips at his side and Rodney climbs on, too. John looks at him, hoping that Rodney picked up enough about the submissive thing that he'll know to tell him what to do. He should have trusted that once clued in, Rodney would not miss a beat.

"Come on," Rodney tells him and then puts his hand briefly on John's shoulder, pushing towards the foot of the bed. The touch is electric and John misses it as soon as the contact is severed. "Get her wet for me."

John swallows a 'Yes, Sir,' and nods, mouthing his way down Larrin's body, finding out that the supple leather of her top is almost as soft as her skin. He wasn't told to tease, so he rapidly settles between Larrin's tight and starts to lick and suck the way she likes it, soft at first and with more and more pressure. She moans and pushes into his face eagerly as he gets into it.

"That's it, just like that," Rodney praises and god, if he's going to start talking to him, too, John isn't sure it he'll last. "Is that good for you?"

"God, yes," Larrin pants before grabbing his hair hard. John welcomes the pain with a grunt but Rodney misinterprets.

"Hey now, easy, not the hair," he says, getting her to let go and John would laugh if he wasn't otherwise occupied. "Slip in two fingers, John," Rodney directs and fuck, it's so hot that it takes all of John's control not to hump the bed.

Larrin moans when John does as he's told, finger fucking her as he eats her up methodically. Knowing that Rodney's watching makes him want to make it extra good. It seems to work because after been told to put a third finger, she cries out and comes under Rodney's praise, juices flowing and John grinds into the bed, knowing he's dampened the sheets himself with the way he's been leaking precome.

"Tell me what you want, John," Rodney asks after kissing Larrin deeply, his big hand covering all of her breast and John can't seem to take his eyes away from the sight.

"John wants you to tell him," Larrin says, voice husky.

John waits, watching Rodney and trying not to let his eyes travel down too much. What he really wants is to blow him, but he's still not sure that would be a good idea, it would change everything between them. They've only interacted through Larrin as of yet, not with each other.

"I've got her wet for you," John raps, not saying the ' _just like you asked_ ' but it's there, hanging in the air. If John thought Larrin's voice sounded sex addled, his own is wrecked.

After a moment of consideration where John feels like Rodney trying to read his mind, Rodney nods.

"Yes, okay. Since you like to watch, I want you to lie there," he says, pointing next to Larrin. "Give a show."

John's head spins at that and he involuntarily humps the bed again. Perfectly straight guys don't want to watch other guys jacking off, John doesn't think so. He scrambles up and obeys, though, lying next to Larrin before Rodney makes her turn and get on all fours. He could have asked her to blow him like that, but no, he wants to _watch_. John is so hard he thinks the show won't last long at all. He grips his cock loosely, gives a couple of lazy pulls and closes his eyes at the sensation, arching in his own touch.

"Oh yeah, that it," Rodney says and John doesn't dare to re-open his eyes. He can hear the wet sound of Rodney fucking Larrin that it's almost too much in itself, and he speeds up his strokes to match the rhythm.

"Can't... can't watch with your eyes closed, Sheppard," Rodney says after a moment so John forces his eyes open a slit, watching them through his eyelashes and it's a thing of beauty. Rodney's got a hand between Larrin's shoulder blades, pushing her upper body onto her folded arms on the mattress, ass in the air and he's fucking her steadily as she makes delicious little sounds. Her eyes are trained on John, too, following how he pumps his dick closely. Rodney must be watching too but it's too dangerous to look, he'd lose it.

"What do you think, Larrin?" Rodney asks.

"Looks fun," she says before moaning at a particularly hard thrust.

"He's gorgeous, you mean." John's rhythm stutters at the compliment before Rodney continues. "What, do you think I'm blind? You're hot as sin like this."

John can feel his orgasm building fast, his hand slick with precome as he fucks his fist, putting his hips into it now. He has to bite his lips not to moan like a whore.

"Oh, he's pretty alright," Larrin says between little keening sounds, and John can hear Rodney's balls hitting her ass, Jesus, this is too much. "He'd... he'd let you fuck him, too," she adds and the suggestion tilts John over the edge as he shoots, come striping his own chest as he shakes through it, eyes wide but unseeing for a moment as pleasure slams through his body.

 _Oh, fuck_ , John thinks when he can put together a coherent thought, what an excellent way to give himself away. He gently strokes himself through the sweet aftershocks and doesn't miss the considering look in Rodney's eyes before he straightens Larrin up so she sits on his lap. He keeps fucking her but brings his fingers down to her pussy, making her cry out and arch at the touch. Larrin's body is taut like a bow, her head on Rodney's shoulder and it's so close to the fantasy John had conjured up when she rode him the other day that his cock makes a valiant effort to come some more. He watches every little twitch they do when they climax almost together, the worry seeping away as it's replaced by the flow of endorphins. Larrin lets herself fall on her belly beside John, cheeks red and eyes half closed, a little smile on her face while Rodney lays on her other side.

John can't resist Larrin's smile - she looks so smug and he needs to wipe it off her face - so he scoots over to kiss her lazily, a hand burrowed in her damp hair. She pulls back and frowns when a tiny beeping starts.

"Oh, that's me," Rodney says and John rolls his eyes. Rodney's watch alarm has a history of starting to beep at the most inopportune times, though right now is nothing compared to when they were trying to escape from a Wraith ship.

"What is it?" John asks as Rodney starts to get dressed.

"It's a new program I thought of and set for a first run, compiling data. The results should be out by now."

"For the gates?" John figures he deserves the bitchy face he gets after his stupid question. He can't bring himself to care, though, and does a full body stretch.

"Of course for the gates," Rodney mumbles through putting his t-shirt on. "I gotta go."

Rodney puts a knee on the bed to reach Larrin, kissing her.

"So?" he asks, grabbing her chin and kissing her again after a smile, obviously in playful mood.

"It's always great. But don't get a big head about it," she replies which makes Rodney snigger. And yeah, John thinks he can live with this kind of dynamic.

"Do you think you could take us both, next time?" Rodney asks and John pauses the mopping of the cold come on his chest with the sheet, holding his breath.

"Oh, I'm ready for everything," Larrin answers with a toothy smile, grabbing a handful of Rodney's ass. John, on the other hand, isn't sure he is ready for that, Holy Christ.

"Excellent!" Rodney says before he gives her a last peck on the lips, and as he gets up he quickly grabs and release John's forearm, too. Five seconds later he's gone.

"Glad you came back?" Larrin says near his ear, a hand trailing on John's torso.

He sighs and turns on his side, looking at her. It's a shame he doesn't feel anything more than friendship for her, life would be so much easier. Not that he thinks she's interested in him romantically or anything.

"The sex was never the problem," he tells her.

She caresses his cheek, looking fond. "I know. But life is short, live a little."

"I'm trying."

***

John's eyes widen when he realizes that Rodney is, without seeing any problem with it at all, determined to talk about what he plans to do next with Larrin and him right in the middle of the engine room, with Chisman and Luther working not 10 feet from them. And Lieutenant Gillis is _right beside them_ , too.

"I've never tried that, you know? At the same time?" he's almost giddy with excitement. "It's going to be so hot!"

John slaps Rodney's shoulder with the back of his hand and scowls at him.

"Would you keep it down? Or better, just shut up?" he hisses. Rodney's eyes go round, surprised and a little hurt. John can't deal with that right now. "For God's sake, McKay."

Rodney looks around and winces, finally noting the possible audience.

"Sorry, sorry. So, tonight?" he asks, sotto voce which now looks extra suspicious.

With a sigh, John nods. And yes, it should be stupidly hot, enough that John's half hard every time he even thinks about it. How he'll go back to just his hand when they get back on Atlantis, he doesn't know. From now on, every time he'll see Rodney, John will _know_ and fuck, he's so screwed.

At least he's got wanking material for god knows how long, now.

***

Indeed, getting off by himself hasn't been a problem at all: John took preemptive measures and decided to take the edge off before the big event. He used to have more stamina than this, he mourns, but frigging _Rodney_ shoots his composure to hell. He's by result a lot less nervous than he thought he would be when they finally meet at Larrin's quarters.

"Hey gorgeous," Rodney says as he gets in, gathering a very naked Larrin in his arms. John hurries in to let the door close.

"Eager much?" Larrin teases but she lets out a startled delighted laugh when Rodney hoist her up as if she weights nothing, her legs closing around his waist.

"You have no idea," Rodney says, biting the side of her neck. John follows them to the bed, unbuttoning his shirt and toeing off his boots.

"He wouldn't shut up about it," John confirms.

"It's nice to have goals in life," Larrin says from where Rodney deposited her on the bed to get undressed.

"Please don't give him more ideas," John says, kissing her and letting a hand trail down her side.

"I'll have you know that I have a very vivid imagination, I can come up with plenty of good ideas on my own. Like this one," Rodney says. "Oh, good girl."

John looks up, curious at the praise, and sees that Rodney's taking a little bottle with a clear liquid from the shelf by the bed. Lube, right, and fuck it's a good thing he came about 45 minutes ago because he's hard as a rock already.

"I'm going to make sure this is good for you, baby," Rodney says and John unexpectedly reacts at the endearment with a flash of jealousy. He tries to hide it by kissing and sucking at Larrin's breasts while Rodney preps her, as John can't look when he does it, anyway. Too close to what he wants, to be honest. John would love to feel those fingers in his ass. When Larrin moans at whatever Rodney's doing down there and he calls her baby again, John snaps and bites at her collar bone, enough to have her cry out in pain.

"Ow!"

"Hey, stop that," Rodney says, slapping John's thigh sharply. The combination of pain and surprise sends a jolt to his cock and makes him grunt.

"Sorry," John apologizes, kissing the red mark, though it's not heartfelt at all. He doesn't want Rodney to call Larrin baby or sweetheart, however petty that makes him.

"I don't even... anyway, not important. Get on your back, John," Rodney says, pushing at his shoulder. He does so, blood pumping fast in his veins, and helps Rodney guide Larrin to straddle his hips.

"Take him in your wet cunt, now," Rodney instructs as John holds his cock upright; he holds his breath as she gets in position and sinks down on him. She's wet alright and burning hot, making him groan. "She feels so good, right? Yeah, that's it," Rodney praises when Larrin starts to ride him slowly. "Okay, I'd get to see you fuck every day that it would never get old, Jesus."

John grips Larrin's hips hard and she grins at him.

"Hang on, _honey_ ," and fuck, she totally is on to him with what happened with the bite. He used to be harder to read than that, or she just understands him that well. "We're not even at the very good part, yet."

"What do you mean hang on?" Rodney peeks at John from behind Larrin and John can't help but laugh at the frowny face.

"I'm good, don't worry," John says, bucking up in a hard thrust to shut her up.

What he doesn't expect is that when Rodney pushes Larrin down to his chest it's not to start fucking her, it's to rim her. She makes a strangled sound that John is this close to repeat. Holy shit, he can't believe that Rodney McKay, one of the worst hypochondriac he knows, is willingly sticking his tongue around and into another person's asshole. It gives John ideas, that's what it does, and god, it's been so long since someone did that to him. He can feel Rodney's face, right there, his chin brushing John's balls and he's not sure how long he can take this, especially when he could swear he feels the fleeting touch of his tongue once or twice where he's connected to Larrin.

"Oh, god," she moans. "Fuck me, Rodney. I want to feel you both."

After a last thrust of his tongue inside Larrin's ass, that John can feel for crying out loud, he stops and straightens up.

"Okay, Just..." Rodney takes the lube again and John swallows hard when he can feel Rodney's fingers sliding in Larrin's ass, brushing his cock indirectly.

She moans and rears back. "Yes, yes, come on already!"

John stills, holding Larrin close as Rodney starts to push in. He's so hard, cock throbbing and it's an exquisite torture to feel Rodney so close, just there. Larrin rests her forehead on John's, eyes closed and she's a little tense; it must be so much. John shushes her, petting her side like a spooked filly. Rodney stops when he bottoms out, letting her time to adjusts.

"Easy, breathe," he croons. "You're doing great. You should feel how tight she is, John, so good."

"It's pretty fantastic on my end, too," he says and Larrin laughs, slowly relaxing. She then clenches around John's cock, and - by the sound Rodney makes at the same time- around him too.

"Okay, okay, I'm good," she says. "Would somebody move, please?"

It's not that John doesn't want to fuck, the urge is right there, ingrained in the marrow of his bones, but he doesn't want to lose control and hurt Larrin. So he holds still and waits for Rodney to start. John can feel him pull out a little and push back in, the friction fantastic for both Larrin and him.

"Oh yes, that's it, hang on," Rodney says, doing it again, pulling out a little more each stroke and John starts to rock with him, moving in time. It's incredibly hot, something John hasn't done since that one time in his early days at the Academy; it's just as overwhelming now as it was then.

Larrin starts to moan and curse, some words in a dialect John's never heard, but she's obviously enjoying herself so they keep going. It's totally mind blowing and John's rushing to the end fast, entranced by the tightness and the feel of Larrin shaking in his arms, of Rodney's cock right there next to his. She's always been vocal but Larrin is really loud this time, crying out with each movement as if hypersensitive. When she comes it's with a howl, nails digging into John's shoulders enough to draw blood, which due to the cross wiring in his brain makes the pleasure even sharper. He can't even warn the others, triggered into his own release without any say on his part. He tenses and comes, too, with a litany of curses of his own, unable to catch his breath for a while because it goes on and on and on. Rodney pulls out and John can vaguely make out that he's jacking off before painting Larrin's ass and back with semen.

The aftermath leaves John completely drained, Larrin slumped boneless on his chest and Rodney who weirdly gets up and hobbles away from the bed. John is too sex-stupid to make sense of it until he comes back with a damp cloth and starts gently cleaning up Larrin, then guiding her off John - almost soft now - and helping her to lie down. Rodney throws the cloth at him and John does a courtesy wipe of his genitals and to get rid of the bit of blood from the scratches before throwing the rag to the ground.

"How's that for a good idea?" Rodney finally says, breaking the comfortable silence.

John and Larrin laugh and she stretches like a cat. "Very good."

"Come on, Rodney," John says when he thinks he's regained mobility. If they don't leave now he's going to fall asleep. "Let's get going."

"Yeah, right," is Rodney's muffled reply, face mashed in a pillow. After he's managed to put his boxer and pants and Rodney still hasn't moved, John shakes his calf. Larrin, bless her, seems out for the count but that doesn't mean she wants them to stay more than usual. "Hey, buddy, we'll crash in our beds, get up."

Finally Rodney blearily sits up and starts moving by rote, John passing him each article of clothing in turn. They let Larrin sleep as they get out and walk to their quarters in silence. It's only when they enter their room and that Rodney starts to undress again that he speaks.

"Dibs on the sound machine," he says with a yawn.

Oh, right. That would nice, John thinks. Though he can't wait for a real shower, with actual water.

John climbs in his bunk, and even though he has the intention to wait for his turn he promptly passes out.

***

There's a tiny sound, like an annoying mosquito and it rouses John from a heavy sleep. Rodney's snoring lightly, and when John buries his face in the pillow he hears the sound again, tiny and intermittent. There's even a vibration and John clues on suddenly, lifting the pillow to find his ear piece. He barely has time to put it on that there's pounding on the door and shooting in his ear.

"Colonel, please respond!" are mixing with frantic "Doctor McKay, Colonel Sheppard!" and more thumping on the door.

John jumps from his bunk, completely awake now while Rodney sits up in his bed, groggy and confused as John opens the door, answering the radio too.

"Sheppard in, what's the situation?"

"Oh, thank god you're both here!" It's Bedaw and Luther, who look somewhat relieved. Rodney's suddenly a lot more alert.

"You're needed on deck, Colonel, STAT," Gillis says over the radio. "They lost control of the Naenli and Osha's barely keeping everything together."

"Copy that, I'm coming over in a minute," John says.

Osha was rescued from Andola, and John knows that even if he's a decent jumper pilot, his gene is kind of weak and he'd have problems with a ship of Naenli's size on a good day.

The geeks are gesturing and talking on top of each other around Rodney, who's putting on pants.

"... which made the other sub-light engine overheat and spark, with a rapid cascade in the systems. There's barely any navigation control left and if the engine stops..."

"What the fuck were they doing playing with the first sub-light engine anyway?" Rodney bitches, hooking his radio over his ear, too.

"Colonel, I need you on in that control chair ASAP," Rodney says, already focused on the task at hand. "If the engines both fail, we're going to be dead in space. Try to bring us as close as possible to a habitable planet, whatever it is."

"Got it," John says, leaving at a run. Shit, this doesn't sound good. He's not the only one running, and it's not reassuring to see that some of the others hold fire extinguishers.

Larrin's on the bridge when John gets there, looking furious as she discusses with one of her top ranked officers. Osha is in the chair, jaw clenched and with his brow covered in sweat. John puts his hands on the arm rests, seeking the touch pad interface as he nudges Osha's knee open with his own.

"Stand down, Lieutenant," John says evenly, trying not to jolt him too badly out of his concentration. He can already feel by the little he can interface with the chair that the Naenli is in deep trouble.

Osha's eyes shoot open, though he doesn't seem to see his surroundings for a moment.

"It's too much, Sir..." he says, teeth clenched so hard he could bust a molar.

"Let me try," John says and it's like Osha can't get out of the chair fast enough.

"Sir, Yes Sir," He says, a bit shakily, though he does stay close to John, leaning against a console. John slips into his place and connects fully with the ship.

It's like putting your head in the bubble court playground at IKEA when it's full of children. There's screaming from every which way as he feels power try to change system, barriers being expanded and then closing up again, the ship's programming ready to fail and the whole of it is obviously taxed too much to function properly.

"Sheppard!" he hears but he needs all of his concentration for this.

"Not now, Larrin!"

"It's my ship! Can you do something about this?" she asks.

"I'm _trying_!" John says from behind clenched teeth.

"Sheppard, I need you to localize where we're losing the most power," Rodney's saying in his earpiece. "They managed to fry an engine completely and we've got to make the other one last as long as we can."

John conjures a 3D schematic of the ship and he hears the collective murmur from the Travelers on deck when it appears in hologram form over his head. He asks for the power flow to be shown on the model.

"Rodney? As far as I can see, there's a huge leak from the labs. Whatever is going on in lab D450B has to stop. Also there must be a bad ground somewhere because there's something fishy at..." John stops and mentally asks for Rodney's position and a blue dot appears on screen. "Okay, then, two rooms from where you stand right now, towards the stern. It seems pretty bad."

"Roger that," Rodney says.

"Careful," John says.

"Got him," comes Ronon's voice and John relaxes a bit to better focus on his tasks.

The very worst right now is to keep the energy flow going to the navigation system and the one engine left. They won't get far even if he succeeds, and John asks for a star map with planets that can support human life close to their current position. Fortunately there's one, but there is a catch.

"Rodney! Can we jump in hyperspace?" John asks.

"What? We can barely move right now!"

Oh, John _knows_ that. "Just a tiny hop, or else we stop right now, there's no use, the planet I have is too far."

"It could blow this piece of junk up!" Rodney replies.

"Okay, then what? If we stop, can you stabilize the ship?"

"No, no, fuck, not like this. We've got to shut everything off, then I can repair the systems and try to bring them back online one by one," Rodney says.

"If we do that here, we run out of air in..." The ship makes a rapid calculation and it's not good.

"Not long enough!" Rodney replies immediately.

There's a loud noise through the radio and John stares at the blue dot, willing it to stay there.

"Son of a bitch!" Rodney curses and it must be bad for him to react like this. "Look, we're dead anyway, jump if you want!"

John looks at Larrin, hovering by his side. "The ship is falling apart, but I could try one last thing."

"Go go go!" she urges him.

John closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, focusing on what he wants the ship to do next. He's got only one chance and a slim one at that. There's the noticeable shift of jumping into a hyperspace window and it takes everything for John to keep the ship's energy contained so it stays together; after a couple of seconds, John lets them drop out. He hears shouts and mentally nudges the ship port, avoiding the moon of the planet by too little to be comfortable. Immediately he sets the course for entry in the atmosphere, steeper than usual but it's not time for finesse.

"You did it!" exclaims Rodney on the radio. "I think? Was the jump enough?"

"I'm a little busy right now," John says, shaking under the onslaught of minute decisions to make to bring the ship down but not crash it, of the terrain below and where to direct the vessel and hope to survive. He screws his eyes shut, relying on the data he's fed directly through the brain by the chair. John loses sense of time, as seconds stretch more and more and more and that's it, they're touching ground and it's not smooth at all. Metal screeches and the jolt has people screaming, tough it's just a bump, then a smaller one, and after that they can feel the ship slide to a stop.

The silence that follows stretches a second, then there are cheers but John can still feel the ship about to rebel under his fingertips, systems building charge.

"Rodney!" John cries out, doing his best to stall the imminent disaster.

"I know! Think the systems off in the order I give you, understand?" Rodney says.

"Hurry!"

"Shields and weapons," off thinks John, even though they were practically nonexistent by the end. "Lights!" off and the ship goes dark. "Inertial dampeners, artificial gravity, ventilation, life support..." Off, off, off, off; John follows the list as Rodney continues on and on, John reacting to the words and rapidly he can feel the ship going to sleep piece by piece until there is almost nothing left, "...engines" off thinks John. "And that leaves the chair," OFF.

John slumps in the chair that is now just a hunk of dark metal and crystal waiting for him to bring her back alive. He's exhausted and he'd sleep for a year straight right where he is. Rodney walks onto the bridge, his tablet the only electronics alive in the room, giving a faint glow. He's covered with soot and Ronon, following a step behind, seems a bit charred.

"What the fuck happened!" Larrin explodes, stalking to Rodney. Where he would normally have cowered in reaction - John's seen him back away from tiny angry kids before - Rodney lets her climb right in his face.

"What happened is that a fucktard of your crew decided to play with one of the sub-light engines and fucked up!" Rodney yells right back.

"How dare you accuse..."

"It wasn't one of mine!" Rodney is still shouting, red as a beet and John is pretty sure Larrin doesn't realize how too close physically she is now, ranting in righteous anger. John can't help but imagine the spectacular hate sex it would give. To get away from this inopportune idea when there are too many onlookers (all mesmerized by the show), John finally stands up on shaky legs and looks towards the window of the ship. He then blinks: everything is white.

"Looks like you landed us on Hoth," Ronon says, and John can't help but snort, as he surely stole Rodney's line.

"You better fix my ship!" Larrin's yelling in the back.

"Maybe I won't, if you ask like that!"

John checks Ronon with a critical eye and points to a burn on his right forearm. "You'd better get antiseptic ointment," he suggests.

"It's nothing," Ronon says casually. John's about to ask what the fuck happened when Rodney steps on his other side.

"There was an explosion in the secondary engine room and it was quite strong. Plus as we rushed over I think I saw a fire in... the... kitchen," Rodney trails off when he sees the scenery. White ground, towering white mountains not that far and snow, falling hard.

"I'll be damned," Rodney starts. "I can't believe..."

"Ronon already made the Hoth joke," John interrupts.

Rodney throws an outraged look at Ronon. "At least he knows the classics," he mumbles as Ronon smiles at his toothiest, obviously pleased with himself.

John grins. "You made him sit through the movies at least 10 times and you resent that the guy picked up enough cultural baggage to beat you to an obvious joke?"

"I'll go see if anyone needs help," Ronon says, going for the door.

Right, John should do that too.

"Did you manage to learn how cold it is outside before the systems shut down?" Rodney asks.

John grimaces. "Quite cold, in the minus thirties. Should be worse at night. But it was the only place around with breathable atmosphere."

"Hey, I'm impressed that you managed to get us here at all! Alive!" Rodney says with a grin.

It's not so bad indeed, John thinks as a warm feeling spreads in his chest. He loves when Rodney looks at him like he's one of the coolest people in the world. "What now?"

Rodney sighs deeply. "Now? I honestly don't know if there is anything doable to salvage this piece of crap."

"Nah, I'm not even worried," John says, with uttermost confidence. "You'll make her fly again, I'm sure of it."

Rodney huffs but he's obviously pleased as punch. "I better start on that, then."

***

John contacts Atlantis and tells them their latest adventures. Lorne says he'll check which of the other Travelers ship is close enough to go get them or at least come to offer assistance (or spare parts). At their end, everything is said to be fine, though John can pick up tension in the voices. Supplies must be getting very low by now.

They need to solve the gate problem, and sooner rather than later. As soon as they are mobile again, on this ship or the next, John's going to ask Rodney to try and reach Todd. He doesn't trust him more than Larrin does, but the Wraith has always been good with Intel.

There's much to do to fix the ship, and it's hard physical work. Rodney's taken charge and the Traveler mechanics, who have always given him lip before, shut up and do as they are told. It doesn't escape John's attention that Rodney's doing 20 hours days, but his suggestions to rest earn him the glare of death.

"Do you want to get out of here or not?" Rodney asks after three days. "I've always hated snow, okay? _Hated_. And please, refrain from any or all comments including Canada or Canadians, please."

"Aww, and here I thought you'd be happy I found you a planet that looks like home," John ribs.

"Home?" Rodney makes a gesture to the imaginary landscape - they are deep in the guts of the ship - and takes a deep breath. "This doesn't look like home at all! We have mountains, yes, but not a series of peaks as high as the Everest or four moons in the sky!"

"Will you go sleep?" John asks.

"Later. If I don't fix this soon, we'll freeze to death."

The temperature inside the ship has dropped, and John can't shake a constant chill. They put on more layers, but there's not much more to do. They've got nothing to burn and nowhere to make it safe anyway, with the ventilation down. They try to keep the air exchange with the outside enough not to worry about CO and CO2, but schedule ventilation to last as briefly as possible to keep the Arctic cold weather out. In short, everyone is miserable.

So the mechanics and geeks work around the clock until they'd make great extras in zombie movies, even after the Kean reaches them and brings more manpower and a little bit of spare parts. A rotation is made so everyone can go unfreeze in the new ship, and two days later Rodney says it's time to try to bring the systems back online. It takes forever, but at last John's sitting in the chair and if the ship does feel patched up it's functional and should be able to fly.

John's got Rodney on the radio, mumbling about last adjustments and Larrin by the side of the chair, more than eager to go.

"What is taking so long?" she asks, impatient.

"Believe me, I want off this rock as much as you do," John says.

"Me too," Rodney pipes up. "But do you want to die horribly if there is an unexpected overload? I don't. Hold your horses."

"Rodney says it won't be long," John relays to Larrin, amused by the grumbling it generates.

Half an hour and much pacing by Larrin later, Rodney finally gives it a go. "Fire it up but be ready to cut everything on my command."

"Got it," John says, starting the engines. He lets them heat up and when Rodney can't find anything bad, he finally goes for it. The take off goes well considering they are hindered by ice, and without much fight John manages to join the Kean in orbit, where its crew was waiting to see how it would go.

Larrin is smiling again and John can't help but grin back at her. He knows how much losing a ship is a blow for the Travelers.

"There you go, ma'am," he drawls. "All ready to go."

"Thank you, Colonel Sheppard," she replies. "And tell Doctor McKay I owe him one."

She says it with a twinkle in her eyes and John feels a stab of arousal - they've been too busy in the last week to do anything at all.

"Did you hear that, McKay?" John asks

"Mmm, what?" Rodney replies, distracted by whatever he's doing. "Hear what? Your ah-shucks cowboy act? I did, yes, and I might have gagged a little."

John laughs. "No, Larrin said she owes you one."

"Oh," Rodney replies and he sounds suddenly a lot less prissy. "Well that's true. You can tell her I'll make sure she makes it up to me."

And wow, it seems innuendo works well for John right now because it makes him want to drag Larrin and Rodney in the closest empty room.

"He says he'll think of something," John tells Larrin and by the way she smiles, she's counting on it.

***

The problem is that 10 hours later, Rodney is still elbow deep in some machine or another. John had time to sleep, 'shower', eat, and he now makes it his mission to get Rodney to do the same. He's been arguing with the man for 15 minutes.

"It's important, don't you get it?" Rodney shouts. His eyes are bloodshot and he's vibrating with nervous exhaustion. John's seen him get to this point before and it had always taken Carson or Keller to talk him down and force him to rest. Sometimes with sedatives.

"I'm sure it is, Christ! Let someone else do it!" John says, waving to Chisman and Bedaw who are cowering further down the engine room, doing diagnosis on other equipment. They look terrified to be brought into the argument and Bedaw tows Chisman behind a series of crates, the coward.

"It's better if I do it!" Rodney says, stubborn as a mule.

"Go. To. Bed," John orders, getting pissed.

"Make me," Rodney shoots back by rote.

There's nothing to do with Rodney when he gets like that, it's infuriating. John is so furious that he walks right to Rodney, barely an inch from his back.

"Don't tempt me," John hisses, almost ready to kick his ass or use his gun to force him to go back to their quarters.

The thing is that John feels the shiver that goes through Rodney at that and from one second to the next, the mood shifts completely. John swallows hard, tempted to close the gap and do something stupid.

"Maybe... maybe I could take a break," Rodney says, flushing, as John steps back, losing his nerves.

"Yeah, come on," John says. He then speaks up for Chisman and Bedaw. "Guys, get on this, I've convinced McKay to get out of your hair for a little while."

Like scared rabbits, they get out of their hole.

"Will do. Sleep well, Dr McKay," Bedaw says.

"Yeah yeah," Rodney says, now in a hurry to leave. "Screw this up and you're fired."

John makes an apologetic face to them - _you know how he gets, don't take it too seriously_ \- and he almost has to jog to catch up with Rodney. They don't speak and John follows, arousal building steadily. He's not surprised when Rodney takes a left turn to go towards Larrin's quarters - of course he does - and a minute later he's ringing her chime insistently. There's no answer.

"Shit," Rodney says, deflating. He looks even more exhausted now that work has been put aside and that the promise of sex is vanishing.

"Maybe she has earplugs or something," John says, a feeble excuse to force the lock on the door. He's never met an Ancient lock he can't sweet talk, unless it's quarantine on Atlantis and she's trying to protect him.

They enter to find the room empty. The bed is unmade and John guesses Larrin went to eat something, or maybe she went back to the bridge already. Rodney is eying the bed with longing and is barely able to stay upright by this point. It's perfect.

"Get comfortable," John says. "I'll go get her."

"What?" Rodney asks, eyes blinking.

John goes to him and tugs on the hem of Rodney's t-shit. "Come on. Off."

Instead of taking it off himself, Rodney raises his arms like a kid and John represses a smile as he pulls the t-shirt off. He's dreamt of undressing Rodney a lot in the last years, but he never thought it would be like this. Emboldened, John starts on Rodney's belt, who barely reacts, eyes closing already. It's a surprisingly sweet moment for John, who's tempted to ruffle Rodney's hair more than he wants to kiss him. It wouldn't be fair to take advantage, anyway. Once he's down to his boxers and socks, John guides Rodney to the bed where he falls in like a chopped tree.

"Wait here?" he mumbles.

"Yeah, I'll go tell Larrin," John says. Tell her not to come back for at least 10 hours. John hasn't even left the room and Rodney's snoring.

***

Rodney hasn't moved at all in 11 hours and some change, John marvels as he comes back to Larrin's room, having half expected to find the bed empty and Rodney back at work somewhere. John leans on the edge of the wall, watching the regular rise and fall of his breathing. Rodney's got two modes: either 'off' or 'on', nothing in between. The door opens and Larrin comes to stand beside John.

"You finally made a move?" she asks.

"No. We came to see you, and when you weren't here I got him in bed and left. He needed the rest."

"You know," Larrin says, gently. "You try so hard to hide how you look at him that you don't see how he looks at you."

John freezes, mind reeling. He doesn't know if Larrin is messing with him, but doesn't know why she'd do that.

"You think?" John asks, though he doesn't dare to hope. It would crush him if it turned out not to be true.

"You are both stupid for each other and the only ones that don't see it," Larrin declares. "Come on, let's go take care of him."

Rodney's still sleeping like the dead even when they both climb on the bed once naked, so John risks a caress down his back, enjoying the softness of his skin and the feel of muscles. Larrin is bolder, working on taking Rodney's boxers off and John eventually helps, which only makes him grunt, slowly starting to wake up. Rodney rolls on his back and John's heart is beating so hard, he wonders if it won't escape his chest. He takes place between Rodney's legs, running his hands up and down slowly, calf and thighs, unable to stop himself now. Larrin is at the head of the bed, caressing Rodney's cheeks softly and kissing his mouth.

"Hey there," she greets when Rodney finally slits his eyes open, not totally focused. "Slept well?"

"I could have slept more," Rodney says, voice scratchy. His cock is filling up, though, reacting to Larrin and he reaches for her, resting his hand on her back.

"Are you sure about that? Because we have plans," Larrin teases.

"We?" Rodney sounds surprised, and then it's like he suddenly registers there are more hands on him than Larrin's. John keeps his hands moving in a soothing manner and when Rodney looks up with a "John?", he can't stop.

"Is this ok?" John asks him, sliding his hands on Rodney's thighs.

Rodney's eyes are huge and his mouth opens in a comical "o" of surprise. He nods, though, so John bends to press open mouthed kiss from his hip to the crease of his thigh, intoxicated already by the taste and the smell of his skin. Nosed buried in the coarse pubic hair, John breathes in, gathers himself together. Rodney's cock is right there, touching his cheek, hard and hot and his to take. He can't help it, though, he has to make sure. He looks up Rodney's body, meets his eyes as he hovers a fraction of an inch from his hard on.

"Is this ok?" he repeats, voice husky.

"Are you kidding me?" Rodney says, strangled. "Yes, yes, it's very much okay!"

John smiles and licks from base to tip, teasing, before dipping and taking the head of Rodney's dick in his mouth, sucking softly. Rodney moans and moves a little, pushing deeper, and John hums his approval.

"Oh, god," Rodney says as John starts to bob his head, loving the way Rodney's cock stretches his mouth and how good he tastes.

"You've got to share, John," Larrin says in his ear and John is brutally taken out of his bubble. It's not that he had forgotten she was there, except in the way he had. She has scooted down the bed, too, her slender hand now caressing Rodney's legs, reaching to gently fondle his balls. John feels like growling to protect his right to blow Rodney on his own, but a quick look tells him Rodney's totally turned on to see two people who want to pay attention to his dick so he pulls off and let Larrin have a taste.

"Holy shit, that's..." John never quite gets to know what it is, since Rodney is mostly incoherent as both Larrin and him mouth up and down his shaft, taking turns to suck him in and release. Rodney sometimes reaches down to put his hand on John's hair or shoulders, making him want to push back into the touch. John uses all the technique he's learned sucking cock, and it turns into a competition with Larrin, both warring to out-do the other. She's good, John knows she is, but he's not even trying to play fair.

"So hot, Jesus," Rodney pants, and he's trying hard to hold back. John knows the signs, having been there often enough, so the next time Larrin pulls off to give him his turn he can't help but to wink at her before bringing out the big guns. He pins Rodney's hips solidly to the mattress and slides down and down some more, relaxing his throat to take Rodney all the way until there's nothing else to take. John knows Larrin doesn't deep throat, at least she never did it to him and it's usually a skill you want to show off, so he's hoping for a reaction. It's been a while and John has to focus to fight the gag reflex, but Rodney's loud curses are enough to keep him there for a moment, then swallow. As he thought it's enough to trigger Rodney who yells and shoots, coming down his throat while John has to press down to keep him against the bed and not get choked.

John pulls up a bit and sucks, making sure to get every last drop and aftershock there is to be had. It takes everything he's got not to smile smugly at Larrin when he finally pulls off. In fact, he's not paying her any attention and watches his handiwork with satisfaction, noting how Rodney's sprawled eagle and boneless. John pets him gently, unable to stop the touching now that he knows it's welcome.

"My head, it is blown," Rodney slurs, half out of it still.

"Funny, I'd say it was your dick," John teases, voice a bit scratchy.

Rodney chuckles and smiles at him, pushing at his thigh with a foot. "Smartass." He gets a calculating look on his face after that, eyes jumping from Larrin to him. "Fuck her," he finally orders.

 _I'd rather fuck you,_ John thinks, but hey, he's agreeable right now. He just blew Rodney, he won't push for too much too fast. So John turns to Larrin, who is wearing a smirk of her own - seeing too much, as usual - and crooks his finger at her. "C'mere," he says and she laughs.

"How?" John asks Rodney once he's got a hand on her. He has put his own need aside as he was pleasuring Rodney, but now his body is clamoring for something, anything.

"You come here," Rodney tells Larrin, who moves to straddle his thighs before kissing him and John takes the hint and takes position behind her. "That's it, John," Rodney says. "Now fuck her hard, I want to see her come."

Without waiting a second more John grabs Larrin's hips and pushes in, one hard stroke that has him burrowed to the hilt. She cries out and Rodney starts talking again, directing the action in a way John's unable to refuse: he slows down when asked, goes harder when urged, gets lost in the sensation and only lets go when Larrin has come and he's told to do so, too.

John's still dizzy with it, covered in sweat and relaxed to the marrow of his bone when he begrudgingly opens his eyes because a meanie is shaking him. He's surprised to see that Rodney's almost totally dressed and that John's apparently lost a couple of minutes.

"Come on, time to go," he says and John's about to tell him that he's fine right here when Larrin elbows him in the ribs.

"McKay's right, I want my quarters back," she says, poking him with a pointy finger until John finally relents.

"Okay, okay, a minute," he says.

It might not have been that much more than usual for Rodney, as far as threesomes go, but John's inherently satisfied. His touch was welcome, his mouth even more and John managed to make it good enough that he wouldn't be surprised if Rodney asked for it again.

Once dressed and out of there, John rubs the back of his head: he doesn't want things to go sour now that they've taken that other step. After two corridors, John cracks and does a desperate plight to break the silence.

"We need to call Todd," John says.

"But Larrin said..." Rodney starts.

"We have to do something. Tell me about a way to fix the gates that doesn't include having a chat with Todd and I'll never mention it again."

Rodney only grumbles a bit before he sighs.

"Okay, fine, I'll admit that I do want to ask him a question or twelve," Rodney says. "I'll set things in motion with Zelenka, though I want on record that it's an idiotic plan to do it behind Larrin's back."

"Duly noted." John admits. He knows it will probably blow up in his face.

But he smiles, happy that things are not going so bad, after all.

***

They spend a couple of hours in their quarters devising a plan and using the communication ball to reach Radek in one of the weirdest incarnations of instant messaging ever. John will go as far as not call for Todd from the ship, since Larrin forbade it, but if Zelenka happens to contact the Wraith and mention their trajectory, they'll see how that goes. Which is totally cheating and John knows it.

Things get busy on the ship, but do not get weird between Rodney and John, who thanks the universe every day. They get to P3W-993 where AR-12 was stranded and find them alive and kicking, and even maybe a bit comfortable as they've made friends with the locals. John has a feeling they've been taking all of this time as some R&R, but he's not sorry to cut it short. With AR-12 now on board, they've successfully retrieved all stranded personnel with the help of the other Traveler's ships and everyone is safe and sound, which is a ton of weight lifted off John's shoulders.

Rodney starts working a lot again, as much on the Naenli, fixing what's left to repair, than on the data given by the last few gates. John watches closely so that Rodney gets at least 5 hours of sleep a night, because he's a great friend like that.

Radek has warned them of his success on contacting Todd (and, hopefully, not the rest of the Wraith), so John is a lot less surprised than Larrin when there's a hive ship waiting right where they drop out of hyperspace on their way to a new planet.

"Wraith!" someone yells, sending the crew to their battle station.

"Prepare to jump back in hyper..." Larrin orders, choosing wisely to retreat when faced with an opponent a hundred times bigger and scarier thank you are.

"Wait," John says. "It's okay."

Larrin turns to him and John is tempted to step back at the absolute fury in her eyes.

"What did you do, Sheppard?" she hisses.

"I did what I had to do!" he says, jaw clenched. "Let's just see what he has to say."

"We're getting hailed," one of Larrin's technicians says.

Larrin seems about to refuse the communication out of spite but she finally agrees, but not before pointing an accusing finger at John.

"You deal with this, I don't even want to _speak_ with a Wraith. Open the channel," she orders her technician.

It's Todd, looking smug; John hasn't missed him at all.

"Hey," John says. "Long time no see."

"Sheppard," Todd says, voice echoing. "I am curious of why you set this rendezvous."

John rolls his eyes.

"Don't play stupid, you know we're stuck with the gate problem, and we also know it has to be Wraith doing. The only think we don't know is if you are personally involved or not."

Todd has a cruel smile. "It is not my doing. But I do not disapprove, it serves us well. It is a side bonus that it hinders your stay in Pegasus."

"Bullshit. If you'd wanted us dead, you'd have come back with a couple of hive ships to lay siege on Atlantis," John says.

"It was a possibility. But what reason would I have to help you? You captured and starved me, for months. I do not owe you," Todd says, visibly straightening in righteous anger.

That's what John's been asking himself, too. He can only hope his gut feeling is right. "And yet, you agree to meet us. This means you want something."

That does make Todd smile, which is never a pretty sight with those god-awful teeth; John feels Rodney step closer to him in anticipation.

"I want the research and DNA sample for the ATA gene therapy," he says.

John bristles as if slapped.

"No fucking way!" he shouts, realizing just after that Rodney echoed him in stereo.

It makes Todd laugh and laugh, as if he's made the best joke ever. John has to shake the creepy feeling it generates and waits for Todd's real demand.

"The commandants of two hives are inconveniently opposing my leadership and blocking me on an important council," Todd says when he's stopped laughing. "This puny ship you are on could be used as bait and distraction."

"Bait?" Rodney yelps, and John elbows him.

"I guess the rest of your plan is that you come in when they are distracted and destroy them," John says. "What assures us you won't get rid of us, too?"

"Nothing but my word," Todd says. "Once destroyed, I will give you what you need for the gate network."

It's crazy, maybe insane, but John trusts Todd when there is a mutually beneficial situation. Oh, sure, there is usually a hidden agenda that the Wraith won't reveal, but ever since that first time with the Genii, John feels as if they have some sort of bond; many times it could have gone sour and Todd kept his promise.

"Give us a minute," John says, cutting communication.

"You cannot seriously be considering it! I should throw you all out in space, right now!" Larrin yells. Most of the Travelers seems just has furious and it's a distinct possibility that if John doesn't play his cards right that the Atlantis crew and him could be in more danger from the Travelers than from Todd. They'd go down fighting, though, and Larrin knows it; John truly hopes he can salvage the whole thing.

"Look, we've dealt with him often," John says. "You heard Todd, he's got something to gain."

Rodney pitches in. "If we help, he'll help us back. Todd needs us as an agent of chaos, as a force against the Wraith in general to continue his power struggles amongst them."

Larrin doesn't sound convinced at all.

"If his plan works, that's two less hive ships culling the galaxy," John adds. That, at least, gets her attention. "With a ship like yours, I can out-fly two bulky hive ships _and_ dodge the darts. If we see that it's a lost cause, I jump into hyperspace and get out."

Say what you want, the prospect of destroying two whole hive ships is a strong pull for any inhabitant of Pegasus, and no one could ever accuse Larrin and her crew of being cowards.

"You better not get us killed, Sheppard," she says, before storming out of the bridge.

***

John knows that eventually Larrin is going to confront him, so he goes to her first. It's no use to run away, and he prefers to set the terms of where and when to do this. She's with Syd, who throws him a mean smirk. He knows John is in deep trouble and he's more than happy about it. John's pretty sure Syd used to be Larrin's lover, or hoped to be, and therefore hasn't been all that happy with what's been going on in the last weeks They didn't publicize their affair, but gossip gets around and John's met people as he was getting out of Larrin's quarters several times (and Rodney hasn't been the more discreet person ever, that's for sure).

"A word?" John asks.

Syd crosses his arms over his chest, playing big bad bodyguard, but after a glare John's way Larrin nods.

"Come back later," she tells Syd.

"But..." Syd looks angry, as if he can't believe Larrin even wants to talk with him.

"I said later!" she shouts and Syd throws such a furious look at John when he passes near him that he raises his hands, placating. He's not here to get into a fight.

"What can you possibly have to say?" Larrin has adopted a defensive position at her turn, and John stays a couple of steps away on purpose. He wouldn't be surprised if he she threw a punch at him, given half the chance.

"I did what I had to do, Larrin." It may make him a bad person, but he's not even sorry about it.

"I forbade that you contact that monster when you were on my ship and you did it anyway," she says.

John takes a step towards her because she's got to understand. "The research is too slow going. Those gates have to be unlocked, the sooner the better and you know it."

"He could destroy us!"

"But he didn't yet, and he could have. We'll win that battle and we'll have the solution," John says.

"I never trust you, anyway," she says venomously.

"And I am sorry that you feel that way. But you've got to understand something: I will always, always put my people first and do what has to be done, by any means necessary."

"Even endanger my people?" she asks.

"I am right here, Larrin. Risking _Rodney_ and every one of my people on this ship, myself included. I know the risks!" She's still raving mad, that much is clear, but it seems to give her something to think about. John continues when she doesn't say anything. "I'm doing this for my city, but also for the millions of people in this galaxy who need those gates. For your people, too. If I die trying? So be it. This is bigger than you and me."

Larrin turns her back to him, crossing her hands on her neck and hugging her own head, as if she's fighting a colossal headache. "Go away, I don't want to see you for a while."

It won't give anything to argue his case more than that. Just before he opens the door, John stops and throws her a look over his shoulders.

"For what it's worth, I only contacted Todd behind your back because I sincerely thought it was the only way to go. I'd never done it otherwise."

He leaves without waiting for a reply.

***

The baiting part works like a charm. The big problem is that it's three hive ships that come for them after they put on the fake distress signal, not two. John curses under his breath but he can't afford one second of his focus to go towards Todd. No matter how many times they've entered battle with the Wraith, coming face to face with a hive ship is always nerve wracking. John keeps the Naenli dead in space and unresponsive to all tentative of communication for a little while, to lure them closer, and only starts to move in little broken hops when it's necessary not to get surrounded.

The darts come out to play a lot earlier than John had hoped, but with a lot of clever flying he manages to mostly stay on top of things, zigzagging between the vessels and hoping they hit each other in the melee. At one point, when they do get hit a couple of times and the shields start to go down, John has a doubt that they've been set up and royally had. There's shouting and yelling all around him, part warnings and curses, and John has to fall back on his pilot instinct alone, becoming one with the Naenli through the command chair.

He's about to give up and get away as he promised Larrin when Todd finally drops from hyper space in the middle of things and starts firing on the unsuspecting hives. It's over surprisingly fast: Todd's vessel is vastly superior to the others in terms of firepower and equipped with something that looks suspiciously like an Asgard plasma beam, slicing through the other hives before anyone has time to cry uncle and surrender. Destruction was always the end game, though, and John realizes that Todd is definitely more of a problem and a danger now than he ever was with that type of weapon.

When all is left are rubbles and every last Dart of the three hives have been hunted down by Todd's, he opens a video transmission.

"What was that?" John asks, right off the bat.

"That was the success of our plan," Todd answers, looking amused.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it. You could have destroyed them anytime, on your own. Why use us?" John's still feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

"It is none of your concern," Todd says.

"I bet it's because the destroyed hives must have informed whomever they report to about their movement against a ship with a distress signal. If you were quick enough, no transmission was done to reveal that you are involved in the whole thing," Rodney says.

Todd dips his head, acknowledging the truth in the theory. "Well guessed, Doctor McKay. Now are you interested in the code disabling the stargates or not?"

"Send it over," John says.

***

After days of what seemed like constant arguing between scientists, sometimes remotely with the communication ball, Rodney says they're ready to upload the new program in a DHD. Which means John finds them a gate and Larrin does authorize a shuttle to the planet.

The Jassri aren't happy to see them and start firing very ineffectual arrows as soon as they are in range.

"What the hell?" Rodney gapes. "Can't they see this is hopeless? Why don't we tell them we're coming in peace or something?'

"They mistrust technology, talking on speaker would make it worse," Ronon says. He's been here before, long ago. "The only magic they accept is the Gate, nothing else."

Rodney frowns and before he can make a disparaging comment about how science and magic do not belong in the same sentence John goes over the plan again. Or to be honest, the almost lack of it.

"And you are sure you can convince them?" He doesn't like one bit that Ronon will have to go by himself to pledge on a sacred stone or something, especially since he learned the arrows are most likely poisoned.

"They've heard my arguments before, they'll listen," Ronon says, checking his weapons one last time and grabbing the brown and blue piece of cloth that looks like a quilt he's been working on since they determined this gate was the closest. "Open the back hatch."

As soon as the door opens, Ronon yells something that sounds like 'gira', but with a guttural sounds and at least the arrows stop. John's hand hovers over the gun at his thigh, ready to draw and fire if somehow it turns sour, while Ronon strolls down the ramp, holding the cloth way over his head, hands apart to show it properly. He shouts a bit more nonsense and John reluctantly gestures for the hatch to close.

A man comes out of the trees, skittish and with eyes jumping from Ronon to the shuttle every two seconds, as he's afraid he's going to get shot. He's holding his bow at the ready, which doesn't seem to faze Ronon who walks towards him with assurance, then stops when he gets 10 feet from him. They talk in whatever dialect the Jassri favor, then the guy lowers his bow as Ronon brings his arms down with his piece of cloth. With a last distrustful look at the shuttle, the man turns and leads Ronon down a path that they've seen lead to a village, not that far.

"I don't get why we can't just go out and fix the gates," Rodney says, frustrated to see it right there but still out of reach.

"Ronon knows what he's doing, let him make sure it's safe. You don't want to be hit by an arrow again, right?" John teases.

"No," Rodney admits. "Absolutely not, especially if it's poisoned. We could rig the shuttle's shield, extend them to the gate."

"I think we've made enough people mad for the moment," John says. "But if Ronon can't convince the Jossri, we'll do that. Give him time, though."

Rodney sighs dramatically. "Alright. I'll go over everything one more time, then."

***

Ronon comes back with the same man from before and a petite woman a couple of hours later, and no one is holding weapons at the ready which John takes as a good omen. After a bit of hand movement that they agreed on as a signal, John steps outside with Rodney, who has reluctantly stowed his laptop in his backpack.

"Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, Doctor Rodney McKay, meet Donn, protector, and Verli, member of the council," Ronon introduces.

"I'm honored," John says with a head bow, and Rodney nods too. "Nice to meet you."

"Specialist Ronon Dex says you have a means to fix the ring of the Ancestors?" Verli asks with a pleasant accent.

"We think so," Rodney says. "But to be sure I would need to work on the gate... huh, the ring. Please."

"He also says that you would do it with a box, with light, that looks like magic but is not," she adds. John notes that Verli looks more curious than suspicious, which is good.

"Yes, yes I would. I call it a computer and it's no magic, I can assure you. It's just hard to understand how the lights, the images and the fact they move works if you do not know how it was made. I could explain, but it would take a lot of time."

Verli considers that, for a moment. "There is a lot that the Jassri do not understand, as how vessel like these," she points to the shuttle, "float in the air. But we do trust that Specialist Ronon Dex has good intentions, and he asked us to trust you in return."

"That's all we ask for, Councilor Verli. Let us try to fix the rings so that trade between worlds can start again. So people can spread words and tactics against the Wraith," John pleads.

Donn has been listening without a word and he takes Verli's elbow to tow her aside. They discuss for a couple of minutes, head bowed, before Verli crouches and throws bones that she took out of a little pouch on the ground. She examines the results closely as Rodney grows impatient.

"I can't believe..." he starts to whisper but Ronon elbows him, kind of hard.

"Shut up."

John has an inkling that the bones are mostly for Verli to gather her thoughts and not necessarily to seek answers. The woman has a lot of grey hair and the look of someone who has seen more than one rodeo. Donn is watching the bones hungrily, practically vibrating with tension. When Verli talks to him, he relaxes a bit, then nods. They get up and Verli dusts her long skirt before they walk back to their little group.

"Before you attempt what you came for, the Jassri will retreat to a safe distance from the ring. You have to give us your word that no machine or cumbuter will be left behind and pose a threat to our well being," she declares.

"Thank you," Rodney says intently and Verli smiles. "I promise to take all my toys back with me."

"Yes, thank you, this means a lot to us and we'll owe you one. If you ever need our help..." Verli cuts John off with a shake of her head.

"That is very thoughtful of you, but not necessary," she says.

"We are honored by your trust, Councilor Verli," Ronon says. "If we wait until the sun is at its highest before attempting to repair the ring, would that be enough time for the Jassri?"

She looks up and nods. "Yes, it would." Before she leaves, she pats Ronon on the arm and smiles kindly. "It was a pleasure to see you again, my friend. I am happy you found a new home."

"Thanks," Ronon grumbles but then he's smiling widely. He even surprises Verli with a bear hug that makes her laugh delightedly.

She leaves with Donn after that, while they all watch her leave.

"How long until the sun is up?" Rodney asks, looking at angles and shadows.

"Maybe two hours," Ronon says, turning back towards the shuttle. "Come on, this made me hungry."

"Two hours!" Rodney exclaims, trotting after him. He turns to John, "you know that if it turns real bad and the gate explodes, two hours is definitely not far enough by foot, right?"

John raises an eyebrow. "Are you telling me the gate could explode?"

Rodney rolls his eyes. "Hypothetically speaking, yes. But in the interest of full disclosure, there is only a one in 4 000 chance that it could happen."

"There's always a chance something could go wrong," John says. "Let's eat."

***

Ronon makes Rodney wait until the sun is at its highest, and then sets him loose. John remains wary of potential poisoned arrows - you never know when a group of dissidents could appear - and he puts the men he brought in the shuttle on guard duty. After double checking the connections on the DHD, they are ready to roll.

"Okay, that's it," Rodney says, finger hovering over the enter button.

"So that will undo the Wraith code everywhere?" John asks.

"Yes, once the gate is activated, the program will spread. And I've added to the code so it can't be tempered like that again. Or at least if someone does, now I know how to undo it," Rodney agrees.

"And nothing blows up, one in 4 000 chances non-withstanding?"

"Nothing blows up. But just to be sure, we're dialing a space gate first. If there's a glitch, no one gets hurt, at least on that side."

John nods and gestures to the setup. "Let's go, then."

Rodney presses enter, then dials a sequence on the DHD. The mere fact that the symbols light up makes everyone cheer, especially when the chevrons start encoding, one by one. The kawoosh and subsequent even horizon is one of the most beautiful things John has ever seen.

Immediately Rodney is speaking in the communication ball, talking excitedly back and forth with Zelenka, with small gaps to amount to the recordings and delivering of messages. Rodney looks up to grin at John.

"The Atlantis gate seems functional too!"

"Attaboy," John says, clapping him on the shoulder. He knew they'd succeed.

"Before we go through, they'll send a MALP over here, to check that matter transfer is functional," Rodney says, shutting their current wormhole.

Oh, right, that would be important to check. Once the contact is severed, John can't help but worry that it was a one time deal and that they could be stuck again. But soon the chevrons start engaging from an incoming wormhole and he's grinning wide once again. Once the puddle is in place, he radios Atlantis without waiting.

"Hey there, anybody home?"

"It's good to hear you, Colonel Sheppard!" Comes Woolsey's voice.

"We're waiting for you guys to come back from your road trip. Sir," adds Lorne and John laughs.

"It won't be long. I've heard you've got a MALP to send through?" he asks.

"It's on the move," Lorne confirms and yes, there it is, rolling out and stopping a couple of feet from them. The camera moves right and left and seems to focus on Rodney who's walking to it. "Telemetry and images are coming in loud and clear, Doctor McKay."

"Excellent," Rodney says. John's wondering what Rodney's doing, fiddling in the back of the MALP when he straightens up with something white in his hand. John walks up to him to see it's a lab mouse and Rodney's petting it with a finger. "You look okay. Doesn't she look okay?" he asks John, extending the mouse to him.

Alive, breathing, sniffing the air, curious of its surrounding: "It looks fine," John agrees.

"Then I'd say it's safe to go back home," Rodney says with a big grin and John smiles right back.

***

It's not as simple as that, but close enough. John sends the shuttle back to the Naenli to get the rest of the Atlantis personnel and various tools and material they brought on board. To John's surprise, Larrin comes down to see them go. John's always been uneasy with goodbyes but this one takes the cake.

"So this is it," John says, shifting from one foot to the other nervously when they're ready to dial. "Thanks again for your help, we couldn't have done it without you."

Larrin doesn't even answer but raises her eyebrow with so much contempt that John almost winces. Oh, he's going to be in the dog house for _ever_.

Beside John, Rodney sighs and steps forward, putting a hand on Larrin's lower back to steer her a bit further. And that's one thing that John thinks is very unfair: she seems a lot less mad at Rodney that she is at him for some reason. If you ask John, Rodney was as much of a part of contacting Todd - if not more! - than he was. Rodney bends to whisper at her for a little bit and John is half afraid that it will end up in an embrace or a kiss. Instead, Larrin taps Rodney's chest a couple of times and turns around to walk right back into the shuttle, not even giving John a last glance. John has no idea what they said, but Rodney looks a little sad, which John could have lived without. As long as Rodney was having sex with Larrin and keeping it at that he had absolutely nothing against it, but if Rodney is about to start pining for the girl or have feelings... Yeah. John doesn't like that prospect at all.

"Come on," John says, as the dialing finishes and the puddle appears. A bit louder he gestures and calls to everyone. "Let's go home, people. Move out."

It seems to shake Rodney from whatever mood he's in, and he's all business again, wrangling people and equipment in whatever order he made up in his head. John waits, Ronon by his side, until everyone goes through but he realizes that once home everything is going to change. It hits him hard and he's left staring at Rodney until he goes through the gate, feeling as if it was the last time he was allowed to do it.

"Are you okay?" Ronon asks, brow knitted.

John doesn't feel okay, he's a bit queasy in fact, but he takes a big breath and puts his game face on.

"Just impatient to leave," he says and Ronon obviously sees right through the lie.

"Well then that's it." Ronon starts walking to the gate, the last marines disappearing before him.

Before he goes, John turns to the shuttle and spots Larrin, leaning against the cargo door frame, arms crossed over her chest. John doesn't expect anything so he's happily surprised when she lifts her hand from her arm and wiggles her fingers in a brief goodbye. She even smirks, and John smiles back, feeling a lot better, and gives her a little wave of his own as he finally takes the last steps bringing him home.

****

Once it's official that the gate network is fully functional again, the Traveler ships that have Atlantean crews on board drop them on the nearest planets with gates. One after the other they walk into Atlantis until they have everyone under the roof once again, which makes something relax in John.

There is so much to do, though, that John doesn't have the luxury to over think the situation with Rodney too much. First thing first, the food supplies are critically low on Atlantis and on the mainland. But on the other hand, many worlds ended up with way more crops than they needed when the gates stopped to work and interrupted commerce, and they're eager to trade before it rots in place.

John pencils himself on jumper duty, ferrying first what is needed to replenish their cupboards, but when asked he agrees to lend a hand for other planets as well. It's good to cement and forge new partnerships, but it also permits to gather lots of information on how people survived without the gates. The Wraiths have been very active, hitting at random all over. The gate system was down for 40 days, and they're often the first to go through again, with mixed results in the welcomes (mostly positive, though, thank god).

While John and all available pilots spend most of their days flying, stocking and then unloading the jumpers, Rodney is busy all over the city, getting up to speed with what has been done while he was away - granted a lot was for the problems with the gate that he already knows about - and helping on maintenance that has been neglected.

It takes weeks, but at one point things slow down: life goes back to normal, or at least as normal as it can get in a distant galaxy where the boogie men are out to get you. What astonishes John is that it's back to _completely normal_. He still hangs out with Rodney more than anyone else, in the team unit or just the two of them. They eat together at least once a day, banter as usual, and they even get the old remote controlled cars out for a spin.

At first John expects that Rodney will give a sign, a look, say something that would prove that John didn't dream the whole Traveler's ship saga, but it never happens. Their friendship is intact, resuming as usual, no harm, no foul. John can't help but think he should be relieved, but it hurts instead. If Rodney seems able to easily forget all about it, on the contrary John can think of little else. He sleeps fitfully, waking up sweaty and in withdrawal of having had a little part of Rodney for a while but then having lost it, making it worse.

***

"I quite liked his cape," Teyla says, gathering the million and one things that seem to be essential for an outing with Torren, even if it's just to John's quarters to watch Batman.

"The car was cool," Ronon adds, scooping up the kid from the armchair where he passed out at least two hours ago. Torren's little head rolls on Ronon's shoulder but he just makes a snuffling sound and doesn't wake.

"We will be seeing you tomorrow," Teyla says as they walk out, and John takes a little more space when he sprawls on the sofa and says goodnight.

"Bye," Rodney says, stretching too. Usually after a movie Rodney's either bitching about it or barely conscious, but he looks fully awake now.

"You didn't even complain about the movie much, what's with you?" John asks.

"Nothing! I mainly zoned it out, to be honest. I've been thinking about the virus the Wraith used to rewrite the gate's code."

"Is something wrong?" John asks.

"No, but it made me wonder what they could try next. I do not like uncertainty."

John rolls his eyes. "Our lives are nothing _but_ uncertainties, Rodney."

"Yeah, yeah. I know," Rodney says. "Lucky us."

If they made smart decisions, now would be the time to go to bed. Instead Rodney utters four words that are totally innocuous but send John's mind reeling on a tailspin none the less. "Wanna watch more LOST?"

They've been back for 32 days, 38 since John blew Rodney on the Travelers ship and it's the first time that there's even an allusion at what happened then, even if just the time they spent in their quarters watching a TV show.

"Yeah, sure," John says, hoping he sounds normal, as Rodney gets his laptop out of the bag he arrived with. John had thought Rodney had come directly to movie night from the lab at the time, but what if he planned this? John doesn't dare to hope but it's hard, especially as he has the perfect excuse to scoot closer to Rodney on the couch.

"Shit," Rodney exclaims when Michael turns on his friends and shoots Libby and Ana, but John is barely seeing the action, even though he knows it's huge. He's the one trapped in his head right now, fighting not to lean even more into Rodney's space.

There's a silence when the ending title card appears, and then Rodney's talking again, doing a complete 180. "So. Larrin was really mad at you."

John scoffs. "You think?" It's not really funny, though, so he sighs. "I know. Maybe with time, who knows."

"She's got the hots for you, she'll come around," Rodney says, as if it's inevitable.

"S'okay." John tips his head back against the sofa. "It's not like I planned for it to be ongoing or anything."

"That's a shame. It was hot while it lasted, I guess," Rodney says, a bit wistful.

Oh, John gets it, having had something that mind blowing going on and that it had just stopped is a shame indeed. The last weeks have completely rewritten his sex drive: while John had been perfectly ok with mostly jerking off in the shower since his divorce, he's now thinking about what he'd want to do with Rodney all the time, making it hard to concentrate. He'd indulged in little fantasies before, but now he's got reference for sounds, touches, tastes. It drives him nuts and leaves him aching, and even jerking off twice a day doesn't take the edge off.

"Sure, it was hot," John says, and he wonders if he should thread carefully or go all in. His heart is speeding up in chest and... well John is sick and tired of denying himself. "But you don't have to be three to have real good sex."

"Well no, you don't _have_ to." He still sounds wistful and if John's tired of competing with girls here on Atlantis, he surely doesn't want Rodney pining for the good old times on the Naenli and start idealizing Larrin on top.

John doesn't remember his maternal grandmother much, she died when he was five, but he's heard all about her. Corina Thruman was quite the spitfire, doing whatever she felt like doing and laughing when her husband hesitated to follow. Fortune favors the bold, she always said. Taking an executive decision that includes plans for less waiting and more action on his part from now on, John slides off the couch and makes a place for himself between Rodney's knees. As he starts to undo Rodney's belt, hands almost shaking with excitement, John doesn't miss how Rodney's face goes from surprised to turned on but worried in two seconds flat.

"John?" Rodney asks as if he's unsure of what is going on. It can't be simpler than that, John thinks.

"I'm trying to make a point, here," John says, unzipping Rodney's fly and letting his fingers brush against Rodney's growing erection, right there and on board with John's plan.

"Really?"

"Yeah," John says, pausing after undoing Rodney's pants and he looks up at Rodney again, grinning and faking a confidence that is not quite there. Oh, he doesn't think Rodney will refuse a blowjob, sex is sex, but it could make things awkward if Rodney really had no plan to push this further. "You don't think I can make this good for you even if Larrin's not here?"

John brushes his knuckles over the fabric of Rodney's boxers, following the length of his hard-on and Rodney pushes into the touch, seeking more; his throat clicks as he swallows. "Oh, believe me, I have absolutely no doubt you can make this good."

"Good answer," John says, smiling wider. He gets Rodney's pants and boxers out of the way, though they get stuck about in the middle of his thighs. That's not important, though, because Rodney's cock is free and just there, waiting for him and John licks his lips.

"Jesus Christ, you should see yourself, John." Rodney moans as John takes him in his mouth with a pleased grunt of his own. Oh yeah, John thinks, that's more like it.

There's a couple of ways he could do this, but John decides to take his time and make this so good, he's going to ruin Rodney for any or all blowjobs that are not by him. So he teases, licks, sucks, uses his tongue and his hand to bring Rodney to the edge and hold him there, then slows down so he can start over all over again. All of his senses are filled with Rodney and he gets light-headed with it. John's free hand roams on soft skin, only pausing from time to time to pinch a nipple or fondle Rodney's balls.

"You love doing this, don't you?" Rodney asks at one point, between broken babbling about how good it is and how beautiful John looks. He's pretty sure an answer isn't expected, but John sucks harder and Rodney threads his fingers in John's hair, gentle, letting him go at his pace for now. "You really, really love doing this."

John's been focusing mainly on making Rodney feel good, but his own dick is starting to protest that it's being neglected, restricted painfully in his pants.

"God, seeing your pretty mouth stretched around my cock like that? Fuck. It's like you were made for it," Rodney adds, reverent.

John hasn't even touched himself, and he has absolutely nothing to hump against, but Rodney's praise is such a turn on that John knows it won't take much. Trying to distract himself from his own needs some more, John puts his hands on Rodney's hips, anchoring him to the couch, then starts an even slower bob, going further and further down to take more of Rodney's cock in his mouth. Again, when he feels that he's getting Rodney close he eases up, and even lets go of Rodney's hips to undo his own button fly and shove a hand in his boxers, gripping his hard-on tightly to stall his own release. The fact he slowed down again makes Rodney whine.

"Fuck, oh fuck, it's so good, John, but you've got to let me come," he pants.

Even if his jaw his aching, John doesn't plan to do such a thing, at least not yet. He does start to strip his own cock hard and fast, though, figuring that once he will have come, he'll be able to focus more. His orgasm builds up so rapidly that Rodney only clues in when John stops sucking to pull off not to choke as it hits.

"What? Oh, shit," Rodney gasps, just on the brink too it seems but John somehow has the presence of mind - it's a miracle - to grip the base of Rodney's cock tightly to stall him off.

"No no no, you don't get to do that again," Rodney pants, writhing against the cushions. "You've got to let me come," he says again and John grins.

"I'm having fun, here," he says, or maybe drawls, he's getting mellow and agreeable. After a couple of experimental moves of his already sore jaw, John licks up Rodney's dick and then grips it steady to use teeth and lips around the glan, making Rodney curse.

"What's it gonna take? A demand in triplicate?" Rodney asks, hand opening and closing on the fabric of the couch, as if trying to find purchase. "Make me come, Sheppard!"

The order is like a whip, making John groan and before he's even conscious of the fact he's moved, he's taking Rodney even deeper than before, opening his throat, doing everything it takes to make this efficient, now. Rodney shouts in surprise but he grabs John by the hair again, hard.

"Fuck, yeah, that's it. Take it, come on now," Rodney praises, lifting his hips now to move deeper into John's throat, while he holds him where he wants. "Yeah, I'm close, that's good, real good. Oh, fuck!" Rodney exclaims and then stills before he starts to come. John's would be happy to swallow but Rodney yanks so hard on his hair he can only follow and pull off, and Rodney's coming on his face, now, the edging making it a big load that paints John's cheeks and mouth. Rodney's watching with wide lust-filled eyes and John shivers at the explicit gestures of being marked. He loves it and when Rodney's finally breaks eye contact to slump back against the couch, John sits up on his haunches so he can get Rodney's attention again and gathers a bit of the semen from his right cheek with a swipe of his thumb before bringing it to his mouth to suck it off, then doing it again with another part of his face, getting himself clean by little steps to draw it out.

Rodney looks mostly dazed but his eyes follow John's thumb closely, and it's only when John drops his hand to his thigh, still clad in BDUs, that Rodney's scrutiny snaps up from John's mouth to his eyes.

"I'm starting to think that you're trying to kill me," Rodney says, slurring slightly.

The only thing that's in danger of dying right now are John's knees and he gingerly gets off the floor to crawl up on the couch, groaning in relief as his knees unlock. He only has his fly open and while there's a mess in his boxers he doesn't look too disrupted. Rodney, on the other hand, looks so boneless he seems ready to slip down to the floor in a puddle, pants still bunched down at his thighs and limp dick now nested in the dark brown curls of his groin. It shouldn't be, but it's a good look on him. John looks forlornly towards his bed, wishing it was a bit closer.

"I'm totally beaten," Rodney says, echoing his thoughts.

John's still testing the state of his articulations when Rodney gets up, a bit shaky, and pulls his clothes back up. John's disappointed that he's not taking them off, but it's clear that Rodney's fixing to leave. The offer to stay burns John's tongue but he doesn't dare. There's time for that, John thinks, to have Rodney realize he's welcome to spend the night.

"See you at breakfast?" John asks, stifling a huge yawn.

Rodney grins at him at that, straightening up with his rapidly packed laptop case and ready to go. "Yes, sure, see you then."

Fortune favors the bold indeed, John thinks after the door closes behind Rodney.

***

This time, at least, Rodney doesn't act as if the whole thing got erased from his memory. Oh, sure, they act professional in public and banter as they've always done but more than once John catches Rodney staring at his mouth. It thrills John, knowing he's getting under Rodney's skin, and he can't help but to goad him every chance he's got.

They're in a senior staff meeting when John feels, without looking, the weight of Rodney's gaze on him again. Deliberately, John raises his hand and slowly swipes the pad of his thumb under his lower lip. There's a little chocked-up gasp and from the corner of his eye John sees a flushing Rodney roll his chair as close to the conference table as he can. Oh yeah. This is awesome. It's two way street, though, and Rodney manages to touch him even more so than usual, which already used to make John nuts when it was without any agenda. Now that the touches are a little firmer and linger a little longer, definitely with intent, John has to fight the constant thrumming of desire.

Around them life goes on and as far as John can see they don't attract more attention than they used to. After six years, most of the base is already used to see them always close to one another, professionally and off work, and John knows than a lot of people are convinced they've been a couple for years. Now that it's true, sorta, their little games don't even register.

Right now John's leaning against the hull of the puddlejumper Rodney's tinkering with, admiring how the fabric stretches over his ass when he bends over.

"There you are." John jumps when Ronon appears by his side. The man has always been able to get the drop on him, even more so because John's subconscious has him in the 'safe, team' category. "McKay," he adds in greeting and Rodney shouts back, "Hi, busy here!"

"You were looking for me?" John asks.

Ronon makes a face. "Sparring session? You're slacking, Sheppard."

Oh, fuck, he'd totally forgotten about that.

John straightens up. "Sorry, let's go. You okay, Rodney?"

Head still buried in the inwards of the jumper, Rodney gets a hand with a wrench out and waves it a little. "Yeah, sure, it's not like you were being useful anyway."

John smiles. "Later, then."

"Hey, Ronon, don't damage him too much!" Rodney says.

"I won't if he's quick enough," Ronon answers as they leave.

They've left the jumper bay and are walking towards the gym when Ronon speaks up again. "I'll admit, I'm surprised it worked."

John frowns. "What worked?"

"You finally getting together with McKay, but using that girl to do it."

"I barely had anything to do with that," John admits, cheeks getting hot for some reason. "Let's say I owe Larrin one."

"Does he know?" Ronon asks.

"Know what?" John replies, getting annoyed. "Stop speaking in riddles."

"How long you've wished for this? What he means to you?"

John's definitely getting pissed. It's not something he wants to discuss with anyone, for one, and Ronon should know better than to ask him about it.

"Let it go," John hisses. "That's my business, not yours."

"That's what I thought."

How on god's green Earth is _Ronon_ qualified to judge him? It's a good thing that they've reached the gym because John suddenly has a lot of aggression to work through.

***

It's been three days since he's blown Rodney after the movie and John is horny. They've been busy, too taken with work to do more than tease each other, and if something doesn't happen soon John is going to die of sexual frustration. He can't believe he used to go months with only his right hand, it sure doesn't cut it anymore. Deciding that since the last time he risked a move it paid off, John takes a shower and shaves before putting a fresh uniform. He could put some civilian clothes, it's evening after all, but he's got a point to make even if it's just to himself.

Once he gets to Rodney's quarters, John stops to take a deep breath and has a thought for Grandma Thruman. He can do this, he just has to dare. John rings the chime.

"Just a sec!" comes from inside and John overrides the lock and walks in.

"Wha..?" Rodney's at his desk, typing on his laptop, but when he turns and sees it's John he smiles and goes back to it. "Hey, hi. I need to finish this. It will only take a minute." Which, of course, could be a lot longer.

"S'okay," John says and before he totally loses his nerves, he stops in the middle of the room and then kneels on the ground, facing Rodney's back. John sits on his heels and puts his hands behind his back, clamping his left wrist with his right hand to hold position more easily. His heart is jack hammering in his chest as he closes his eyes and bows his neck in a classic submission pose. This is huge for John, and he can only hope that Rodney realizes it. The clicking on the keyboard is fast, Rodney still deep in whatever it is he's doing, while John tries to regulate his breathing. He can't help it, offering himself like this makes him nervous but also incredibly turned on.

"Don't think I've failed to notice that you sweet talked Atlantis in overriding my lock, by the way," Rodney says. "I sure hope that you don't go breaking and entering in..."

There's a delay between the words dying out and the typing that stop, followed by a good seven seconds of complete silence - John counts them over the roaring of blood in his ears - until Rodney speaks again.

"Okay so that..." he stops again, but John hears the sound of the chair as Rodney gets up and the soft thuds as he walks closer. John has lost control of his breathing and he's reduced to quick little pants.

"You're gorgeous, that's what you are," Rodney says, voice husky as he finally makes contact, threading his fingers in John's hair. Swallowing is difficult and John rolls his head into the touch. "What do you want, John?"

And shit, that's not how this should go. He thought Rodney understood that. "What you want," John replies, eyes still closed, head down. "Tell me, I'll do it. Anything."

Rodney grabs his chin and turns his face up. "Open your eyes."

John cannot refuse, even though it's going to take away the last defensive layer he's got. So he opens his eyes and looks straight at Rodney. The obvious hunger in Rodney's gaze is not unexpected but it sends one more jolt of arousal into the mix.

"You should see yourself. No wonder 80% of the Pegasus galaxy's villains are plotting to have you kneel down before them, it's a beautiful sight."

John blinks, but there's nothing much to reply to that. I only want to kneel before _you_ sounds kind of corny, even in his own mind. Rodney lets go of his chin, and starts circling him, examining John from all angles. John doesn't move, now staring straight ahead.

"The things I want to do to you, John, you have no idea," Rodney says, intent, and it makes John shudder.

"Please." It's murmured, but it carries enough for Rodney to hear.

He's behind John's, now, and he steps close enough that his legs are against John's back who leans into them, trusting. Rodney puts his hands on John's shoulders, then slides them to his neck.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of you," he says and John almost sags in relief. "As pretty as you are like this, I've got something else in mind tonight. Get up, strip, and get on the bed."

As soon as Rodney lifts his hands, John does as he was asked. Since Rodney didn't tell him how to present himself, John turns on his side and watches as he undresses too. Rodney's as hard as John is and his dick bobs comically as he walks to climb on the bed, too. He's got a laser focus on John, who would feel self conscious if it wasn't for Rodney's obvious enjoyment of what he sees.

"You'd really do whatever I'd ask for," he says in wonder, not even a question, while he trails a finger on John's side that leaves fire in its wake. "Tell me what you're uncomfortable with, John."

"Humiliation," John says. "And I don't think I'd like scat," he adds.

"Which makes sense, with the no humiliation thing," Rodney says and then makes a face. "And also because it's disgusting. What else?

"No de-aging play or daddy kink," John answers, but this is starting to get difficult. He's all about setting boundaries but he'd prefer getting to the main event.

"What about pain?" Rodney asks, pinching suddenly over his ribs and if the way John's cock twitches doesn't give him away, the loud moan certainly does.

"Pain is good," John pants. "Manhandling, marks where it doesn't show, bondage. It's all good," he manages to list.

"Okay, good, I know enough for now, you can relax," Rodney says with a firm caress up John's arm, shoulder, and he stops at his neck, rubbing his thumb behind John's ear soothingly. Rodney sounds so confident that John knows it's going to be fine and does manage to unwind a bit. He's already a wreck, though. "We'll eventually go with green, yellow and red. How does that sound?"

"It's great," John says. It's been a while that he played scenes that were hard enough for safe words.

"Don't get your hopes up, I'm not planning on pushing you much tonight. I need to think about it first." That's the promise of something mind blowing, John is sure. Knowing that Rodney will plan something just for him makes John quiver in anticipation and he nods to show he understands.

"Okay, now, let's see," Rodney continues, observing John critically. "We've established that you give excellent head and I plan to fuck your mouth as often as I can get away with."

John shivers at the words and resists the temptation to scoot down the bed to blow Rodney right this instant. "Anytime, just ask."

"You really do love sucking cock, don't you?" Rodney says with wonder and John nods. "But not now, or I'll get distracted." He twists on the bed and gets a tube of lube from the bedside table and John almost groans just at seeing it. Handling it over, Rodney then gets off the bed, which confuses John. He pulls a chair near the bed before gesturing for him to get going.

"I loved watching you, the other time," he says and if John had enjoyed giving a show and it's thrilling that Rodney loved it that much, he was kind of hoping to escape his right hand in coming here. But if that's what Rodney wants, he'll do it. John puts lube in his hand and grabs his dick, eyes closing at the sensation. He needed that, badly and he groans in pleasure.

"That's it, so hot," Rodney croons. "But I want to see you stretch yourself for my cock, too. Come on John."

The mere idea of it makes John arch off the bed, moaning. He can't get back to the lube fast enough, making a mess and shoving two fingers in his ass at once. He hisses at the burn, good and bad: it's been a while that he indulged in this. Putting his own fingers up his ass while lying on his back, thighs opened wide, doesn't give the best angle or any kind of depth, but it will have to do.

"Look at you," Rodney says, breathless and John chances a look sideways as he fucks himself on his fingers eagerly, scissoring and stretching a bit fast for comfort but he wants Rodney in him as soon as possible. Rodney's jacking off slowly, eating John up with his eyes. "Put a third finger," he orders. "And add more lube."

John does and god, it's good. When he fantasized about them fucking, he's always imagined that Rodney was opening him up with those big fingers of his but this works, too. He's stopped stroking his dick because John wants to come around Rodney and he's close already.

"You're always so silent, rarely a word," Rodney muses. "A real shame. I want to hear you, John. Tell me how it feels."

"Yellow," John blurts out, though he's as surprised that he said something as Rodney seems to be. But it's true, John's never been at ease with letting go, especially while he's having sex with another man. It's probably because if he starts to talk, he might never shut up and that's way too dangerous.

"Alright, it's ok," Rodney says softly as he gets up. John is pumping the three fingers in his ass still, grinding on his own hand and he wants Rodney so much right now he aches with it. "Stop now."

John takes his fingers out, heart beating fast, and he wishes that kissing was something they did because he wants to do it so bad. Rodney climbs back on the bed and puts a hand on his thigh. "Turn around, get on all fours."

He obeys while Rodney mostly puts him in place himself, pushing his knees a bit more apart before taking his place behind him. John's breathing fast, thrumming with need, and he moans brokenly when Rodney rakes his nail lightly from John' shoulders to his waist on each side of his spine.

"That's it, I've got you."

"Oh, god, please," John whispers, pushing back towards Rodney's groin. He can feel the hardness of Rodney's dick against his ass cheek, inches away from where he really wants it and it's going to drive him mad. "Please, Rodney, please."

He cries out when Rodney pushes in two fingers with more lube instead. If that's what Rodney's hand feels like, John's not sure he's going to survive his dick, it might be too much.

"Just a second, I've got to make sure you're ready," Rodney says.

"I am, just fuck me already," John whines.

"Alright, geez," Rodney says, and his fingers are gone, though there's the sound of the cap on the lube some more. "Okay, here we go," he finally says after he lines up.

John screws his eyes shut as Rodney pushes the head of his cock in, the stretch a bit too much for a moment.

"You're so fucking tight," Rodney says when he stops, a couple of inches in. John feels like he's being torn apart. He starts to rock lightly, taking a bit more of Rodney each time. The burn is starting to fade as John adjusts and when Rodney's cock brushes his sweet spot John curses as the sensation shoots through him.

"Right there?" Rodney asks before rolling his hips and grinding right into it.

"Oh fuck, yes," John hisses, fists clenching in the sheets.

"Duly noted. Now what about this?" Rodney snaps his hips while pulling John back by the hips, burying to the hilt and John all but chokes.

"More," he says.

Rodney starts to fuck him with long smooth strokes, getting almost completely out before pushing all the way in and John's right on the edge already.

"You feel so good," Rodney praises, fingers digging so hard around John's hip that he's sure it's going to leave very welcome marks. John moves back in counterpoint to each thrust, grunting and moaning quietly, his dick leaking precome steadily.

"Harder, please," John pants. "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me," he starts babbling, going out of his mind.

"Jesus," Rodney says, shortening his stroke as he starts to pound right where he's found John's sweet spot, making him groan brokenly. "I can't... fuck... Christ, John, you're incredible, let me..."

When John feels Rodney's hand close on his dick it's too much, he's on Rodney overload and he all but howls as he comes, spasming around Rodney's cock. Rodney strokes him through it as John feels like he's splintering apart, the rush so strong he wonders if he'll ever be the same. Barely able to stay upright anymore, John locks his arms at the elbows to brace himself when Rodney starts to chase his own release, fucking him fast and hard until he breaks and comes too, stilling on an in-stroke before riding the wave by fucking into him some more until he's spent. When he stops John gives up on any pretense of having functional bones and slumps down on the bed, breathing hard.

A second later Rodney all but crushes him, falling on his back. John thinks to protest but he kinds of like the weight pinning him down. They're covered in sweat, Rodney hot as a furnace over him, and John might be lying right in the mess he made on the sheets earlier but he's rarely been more content. Rodney is so still that if he wasn't breathing John would start to worry.

"You alright there, buddy?" he asks.

"Alright?" Rodney mumbles at his hairline, the movement of his lips sending a shiver down John's spine. "I'm way better than alright, thanks for asking. You?"

"Great," John says and tries not to feel bereft when Rodney finally rolls to the side. With effort, John turns his head to watch Rodney and can't help but smile. Wrung up after sex is a good look on him.

Rodney meets his eyes. "Don't look so smug," he says but he's smiling too.

"Me? Never," John replies.

It's easy, it's fun, but frankly John has no idea what he should do now. Does Rodney expect him to go? Probably. Before it gets awkward, John sits on the side of the bed. If Rodney wants him to stay, he can say something. Unfortunately he doesn't, so John puts his clothes back on. When John looks back, Rodney has rolled on his belly and he's watching him leave with eyes half opened, barely awake. John takes a moment to appreciate the line of Rodney's back and the curve of his ass before he goes.

"Good night, Rodney."

"'Night," is mumbled back just before the door closes and John starts the short walk to his empty room. He's going to have to work on this getting thrown out after sex thing, and soon.

****

John can't help the spring in his step: Rodney all but ordered him to go to his quarters over the goddamn radio and the reason was totally bogus. It can only mean that he's going to get laid and John really tries not to grin like an idiot on the way over, but it's hard. The smile breaks through when the door opens for him as soon as he touches the chime.

"You called for me?" John says as he enters and Rodney pops his torso out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth and holds a finger up. The corner of his eyes are crinkling and John takes a moment to consider how deep he is that he finds the whole picture sexy, foam and all. As he hears Rodney spit and rinse, John starts to unbutton his shirt, figuring it's going to go soon enough anyway.

"Glad you could make it!" Rodney says as he comes back into the main room, then stops to watch John strip with interest. "I've been thinking, and I think Isabel could be interested, if you ask her in."

John pauses and frowns, as he doesn't have any idea what Rodney is talking about. "Isabel?"

"Yes, that new nurse? Short, blue eyes, a menace with a needle Isabel?" Rodney says, adding some gestures that must describe her shape.

John now knows exactly who Rodney is talking about, but he still has no idea what she has to do with anything. "Okay, yes, I know who that is, but interested in what?" he asks, just as the dots connect in his head.

Interested in a threesome, that must be it. It's like a rug is yanked under John's feet, just as Rodney confirms it.

"Well you know, having some fun with us," he says, as if it's the simplest thing in the world.

It dawns on John that this, all of this, is completely pointless. He's in love with Rodney, starved for anything that brings them together in some way but it's a one way street. Oh, Rodney likes him alright, but as a friend now with benefits, nothing more. A means to get laid, and not just with him, with girls as well, the best of both worlds. It's a blow and it hurts, even if he should have expected it. John's suddenly so mad at himself that he wants to hit something, disgusted of being so naive that he allowed himself to hope that he could make Rodney love him back. And also mad at Rodney, who's too blind to see. The rush of emotion is powerful but John tries to hide it the best he can behind a facade of cold indifference.

"Let me get this straight," he says, as calm and measured as he can. Rodney knows something is wrong, suddenly looking confused. "You want me to go ask a girl we work with to have a threesome with us."

"It sounds bad when you say it like that, but I think that since she's with the medic team..." Rodney trails off when John starts re-buttoning his shirt, glaring. "John?"

"I have to go," John says. He can't do this anymore, that much is clear. Continuing to sleep with Rodney would make it even worst in the long run. "And I won't be back."

"What?" Rodney is getting agitated now, totally lost as of why this is happening and it makes it hurt even more. "But..."

"So long, Rodney," John says, storming out and already planning to find some quiet high rise to lick his wounds for a little while. He tells Atlantis to hide him, except in case of a real emergency and hops in the transporter at the end of the corridor, ignoring the fact that Rodney's calling after him.

***

It takes a good three hours to bring the self-loathing to acceptable levels. John is conscious that hiding or completely avoiding Rodney, as tempting as it is, is not a viable solution. Atlantis needs them to continue working together as efficiently as before, and John doesn't want to break his Team up. So he's going to have to repress everything and go on. No sweat, he's done worse. Not right now, but eventually John will try to patch up his friendship with Rodney and to wipe this whole mess under the carpet.

John goes by the mess hall to grab a sandwich, planning to eat it in his room if he ever finds his appetite again today; he doesn't linger even if Lorne gestures him to join his table - he would be extremely bad company right now anyway. When John gets to his room, he's not entirely surprised that Rodney's waiting for him, sitting cross-legged on the floor with his tablet. As soon as he spots him, Rodney scrambles up and John hopes he waited for a while.

"John!" he exclaims. "We need to talk."

With a big sigh - he so doesn't want to do this right now - John opens his door and walks inside, resisting manfully shutting it in Rodney's face. Two steps in John tosses the sandwich towards his bed, then turns around and crosses his arms over his chest while Rodney stops, unsure, as the door closes behind him.

"Talk," John says, clipped, and Rodney looks even more nervous.

"I'm sorry, John," Rodney says, almost wringing his hands. He looks so sincere that a part of John starts to soften as he continues. "I didn't think, I never should have suggested someone who works with us, I..."

Any or all thawing on John's part is brutally stopped short, as it's clear that the only thing Rodney thinks he's done wrong is that he suggested a candidate who lives on Atlantis. The rage comes back so strong that the next thing John knows he's swinging, though he manages to rein it at the last second to hit the door beside Rodney's face and not sock him in the jaw. Rodney yelps, bringing his hands up to protect his face, tablet used as a shield and when John meets his eyes he looks genuinely afraid of him. It angers John even more because he now feels like an asshole, especially since the dark urge of not being the only one to hurt is right there, festering under the surface.

"Go. To. _Hell_ ," John all but spits.

Rodney's eyes are so wide and blue, baffled and now hurt. "But I don't..."

"You don't understand, oh believe me, that's plenty clear. And you call yourself a genius," John says with contempt, which strikes home as Rodney clearly hunches on himself even more. It's like John can't help himself, he's using words as weapons as Rodney does so well, and it's way more effective than his fists. "You're so clueless to anything that is not your own needs, so insensitive to the people around you that it's a miracle you even have friends. There isn't much I can't stand, but humiliation is one of them, I told you that. So, and I'm going to only say this once, get the fuck out of here!"

John got progressively louder while he talked until he's shouting that last part and the door flings open so fast it makes a whooshing sound. Rodney's face is drained of blood, stricken in horror as he steps back and his toes have barely crossed the threshold that the door slams shut. Disgusted with himself, John hits the door again, hard, then some more with his boot, welcoming a pain that doesn't come from within. "I hate you!" he yells, which is the biggest of the lies he's just told.

It doesn't help one bit.

***

John hasn't slept, playing over and over in his head how spectacularly badly he handled the whole thing. He's in deep need of caffeine if he wants to survive this day, and he half drained his first cup when he reaches the Team's usual table. He walked over on autopilot and when he finally takes notice of what is going on: Rodney is scrambling to get up.

"Oh, oh, I have to go, I forgot something. Here, take this," he babbles, transferring his bacon to Ronon's plate and a croissant to Teyla's. Either he just got there himself or he didn't eat, because the tray is full. What's for sure is that he avoids looking at John at all costs and basically runs away after that, while John sits down.

Ronon shoots John a dark glare - how fair is that? - and gets up to go after Rodney, though not before grabbing the bacon.

"Rodney is acting strangely this morning," Teyla says, concerned.

"Oh?" John starts on a muffin; he feels as if he hasn't eaten for days.

"Yes, he looks in great distress, but he would not say about what," she says.

"You know McKay," John says, finishing his coffee. He pushes the muffin away, as he's not that hungry anymore. "Always some drama or another. He'll be fine."

Teyla frowns. "Do you know what is wrong?"

John could lie, but he doesn't need to get in more shit if she ever finds out. Obviously, Ronon figured it out already. "Yes, I do. We had a fight. I'll..." John sighs deeply. "I'll try to talk to him later."

With an understanding smile, Teyla taps his arm softly. "Everything will be fine, then," she declares.

John's not so sure about that, but he nods none the same. "I hope so."

***

Every two weeks, there is a mandatory military exercise to keep everyone on their toes for the city's defense. It's good for the Marines' morale, and with Ronon's help at setting traps it's never dull. His boys managed to impress John today, and Ronon even slapped a couple of the newbies on the back, which frankly seems to have terrified them more than anything. John suspects that someone on Earth is planting horror stories about Ronon to all new military recruits at the SGC, and probably does it with Ronon's blessing. John wouldn't be surprised that it's Teal'c doing, too, as the pair has bonded even more since the time where Ronon and him kicked some Wraith ass all over Cheyenne mountain. Alien sense of humor is sometimes tricky.

John hasn't talked talked to Rodney yet, still too raw to find the Zen necessary for the ordeal. Three days into their fight, Teyla is starting to give John the guilt-inducing mom eyebrow, which is most unnerving and will undoubtedly make him crack before long. Mostly, Rodney and John have just been avoiding one another, so it hasn't been too painful. Ronon hasn't said anything, but John can feel the weight of his gaze, too. They're walking towards the armory to put back some of the paintball mines when John decides he's had enough.

"Come on, do it," he tells Ronon.

Ronon looks at him, curious. "Do what?"

"Tell me 'I told you so', for the whole Rodney thing," John says.

"I told you so," Ronon deadpans and John can't help but snort. "What happened?"

"I wasn't enough for him, he wanted to ask a girl in," John says. It sucks, but that's it in a nutshell. John thought the sex was good enough to keep Rodney's interest at least longer than only two times with him alone.

"Asking a girl in? Like how you used to do it just five weeks ago?" Ronon asks.

"We're not on the Naenli anymore," John says.

Ronon shakes his head as if he's stupid. "As far as Rodney knows, you were with a girl first, he came later."

"But..." Rodney can't think just being the two of them isn't enough, right? John frowns because even Rodney can't be that clueless.

"You changed the rules, John. Did you tell him?" Ronon says. "For him, here, the Naenli, it's not different: he went in told it was casual sex. With more than one person."

And seen like that... No wonder Rodney's confused. John doesn't like realizing he might have been even more of a jerk that he knew he was.

"Shut up," John grumbles. "And since when did you turn into Jiminy Cricket, anyway?"

Ronon grins and John shoulder checks him, just because.

****

Want it or not, John has to man up and go talk to Rodney. He chooses to go find him in the lab and, well, it seems things are not going so well in there. Rodney's on a rant, almost pulling hair with Zelenka when John arrives; the other scientists work as if they are non-intrusive enough they'll maybe remain invisible. By this point Zelenka's wind milling as much as Rodney is and he's the first to spot John.

"You!" he says, accusingly, pointing a finger at John. "You fix whatever needs fixing because I swear, on the head of my saint mother, that I will kill him. I will kill him and no one will ever find the body."

John raises his hands in a peace gesture but Zelenka storms out, giving him a look full of reproach. Rodney's stopped yelling but he's got both arms crossed tightly across his chest, looking mulish. Not that he says anything; in fact he's not looking at him either.

"Rodney, a word?" John says, pointing to the small office in the corner.

He looks surprised at that but nods. Once inside, Rodney goes to stand at the far wall, still defensive but unsure, too. A silent Rodney is very unsettling.

"Can I ask you to just let me talk? For a minute?" John asks. Rodney nods, so he goes on. "It's been pointed to me that I haven't been fair. But you need to know that I am not mad at you."

"Ha," Rodney says, totally unbelieving.

"I mean, I'm not mad at you much. Not anymore. I'm angry with myself, though." Oh, god, he hates this so much. On the long list of things that John hates, talking about feelings is even worse than being shot. Rodney's listening, though, and is finally looking at him, so John forces himself to look back. "Look, I felt hurt, I lashed out. I know I scared you, and I hurt you and I'm sorry. You are a good friend, Rodney. But I think that's what we do best and we should stay at that, if that's even possible at this point."

Right this moment, John would take a Wraith attack, that's how much he wants to get this conversation over with. Rodney only blinks in answer, still frozen.

"And now if we could never discuss what happened again, ever, I'd appreciate," John tries to joke. Rodney _must_ know how something like this costs him.

At last Rodney reacts, nodding. "But it's still over."

Even now, John can feel the pull, how easy it would be to give in and indulge into amazing sex with Rodney but how it would eventually break him in a million pieces. "Yeah, it's over. I can't."

"But just for the record," Rodney says, finally starting to move and gain a bit of color. "You are the one who made a move on me. Once we were back."

John rubs the back of his neck, feeling it flush with embarrassment. "Yes, sorry. I thought it could work."

"But it can't?" he asks, with what looks like slight hope.

"No," John says, as firm as he can. Rodney looks absolutely crestfallen, and John's certain that he still doesn't get it. At this point it's probably for the best.

"Come on," John says, opening the door. "Let's go eat."

He's not hungry at all, but they've got to start trying to get back on the path of normalcy, and that seems a risk free way to do it. After a couple of seconds, Rodney follows him.

***

It's like the aftermath of Doranda all over again, John cannot shake the comparison. Sure, at the time they had fought because Rodney had put them in danger and not because he'd failed to see that John wanted more than casual sex, so it's not really the same. But in both cases Rodney knows he's angered John and he's trying so hard to patch things up and gain his trust again. In this particular case it makes John uneasy because as Ronon made clear, it's not like it was totally Rodney's fault John had been hurt. Or at all.

John may have decided that it's best to avoid any or all physical intimacy with Rodney, but clearly his subconscious never got the memo. Or it's rebelling against the decision itself, that's also possible. John's continuously blindsided with vivid memories of Rodney's eyes when he's overcome with lust, of the softness of his skin, of how great he tastes. Waking up is the worst: it takes John so long to fall asleep, if he sleeps at all, that his body is exhausted and he's at the mercy of dreams that torture him exquisitely, leaving him hard and panting to the echo of what once was. He has decided to quit Rodney and all sex activities cold turkey and John's paying with actual withdrawal symptoms. Days turn in to weeks and John hopes it stops before he goes crazy. Not even heroin takes this long to get out of someone's system.

Rodney still rarely meets John's eyes, acting a lot more subdued around him. He's walking on eggshells as if he's convinced that if he's not careful, he's going to do another huge mistake and John will cut him out totally. Since what John has always loved about Rodney is the way he always spoke his mind, with no filter what so ever, this gentler Rodney is... weird. It's not that the sarcastic McKay disappeared, John sees him plenty when Rodney's working. But when they're with Ronon and Teyla, or the just the two of them? Rodney clams up and stammers, throwing John shy little smiles. No more insults to John's intelligence, no slaps to the back of the head, no rants about shady decisions John made in the heat of the moment, even if it made them run for their lives on P6T-812. John misses the way their friendship used to be like a phantom limb.

John doesn't even get shit for getting them lost in the woods today, and he'd never though he'd be bummed about it. They've been to Ridana a handful of times before, they produce nice dry Vuris that is loved as a snack on Atlantis. Instead of following the normal path to the second village, John had assured his Team he knew of a shortcut that the kids had shown him the time before. And he did, too. Teyla had raised a skeptical eyebrow, Ronon had outright laughed but Rodney had only waited, mouth shut, until John took point. The problem was that John had done the trek in winter and now everything looked the same, green and leafy. So yes, lost again, though John knows Ronon will eventually find a well used path and bring them back to areas actually inhabited by human beings.

"I think I might have made a wrong turn," John says after a while waking through dense under bush.

"You think?" Ronon says and John grits his teeth. That's supposed to be Rodney's line, but Ronon takes the lead more and more in the snark department since Rodney let the spot vacant.

"It can happen to anyone, you know," Rodney says, defending John and god, this is terrible. John wants his sharp tongued Rodney back so much.

"I think I can see smoke, maybe a chimney" Teyla says, pointing ahead and John's the first surprised that they might not be that far off the mark after all.

"See?" Rodney says, proud on his behalf and John wants to bash his head against a tree.

They make it to the village after all, the chimney being the factory where the Ridans dry the Vuris, and one thing leads to the other until they're the special guests - and the perfect excuse - for a party. It's been a nice sunny day and the Ridans are a friendly bunch so John kicks back and enjoys one of the nicest evenings he can remember in a while. He's sitting on the benches that have been pushed against the walls of the city hall, watching the locals dancing to what reminds him of traditional Irish reels. Ronon and Teyla are spinning with the rest of them and John can't help but smile to see them have fun like that.

Rodney's has unsurprisingly decided to spend some time by the buffet table, but John now spots him carrying two glasses of that strong wine the Ridans make with the Vuris and take out on special occasions. There's a cute blonde latched to his arm, smiling widely up at Rodney, and John's stomach pummels before he chastises himself: he's got no right to feel jealous. John has been asked to dance, too, though he's turned down the girls as politely as he could. It only made them shrug and find someone more interesting anyway; John's got two left feet and he prefers watching. Maybe with a bit more wine he could feel inhibited enough to try, and these kinds of parties often give the opportunity for a hook-up. It's pointless to think about it because even if John does miss having sex, he's not ready for a quick tumble, even though it could be exactly what he needs to take his mind off Rodney.

He's checking out the people who seem single and looking for a good time, only by curiosity and not by real interest, when there's a nudge against his arm and a wine cup is thrust in front of his face.

"Here," Rodney says.

John takes it with a smile, "thanks."

Rodney smiles too, happy, before he remembers he doesn't look at John directly anymore and turns to observe the dancers, taking a sip of his own wine.

"This music is not too horrid," he says and John laughs.

"It's pretty good," he agrees. John might be still in love with Rodney, even if he wishes he wasn't, but it's not because he can't move on yet that Rodney has to be stalled too. "Why didn't you dance with that girl? She was obviously interested."

Rodney freezes, uncomfortable and hunching on himself. John sighs. "It's okay, you know. You can do whatever you want."

"Well I'm not. Interested I mean," Rodney says, waving the hand with the cup as if the suggestion is a crazy idea.

"Bullshit, she's exactly your type," John teases with a smirk. He knows, he's seen Rodney fall over himself for pretty blondes like that for years.

To his surprise Rodney drains his cup and gets up. "I'm pretty sure you have no idea what my 'type', as you say, really is," he says with a mulish look and if John wasn't too busy being puzzled, he'd be happy to see his good old Rodney surfacing back. "I'll be outside, it's too hot in here," Rodney adds before walking away.

John blinks like an idiot at his retreating back. What was that, exactly? Then it dawns on John that Rodney's going outside on an alien planet without escort and he curses and scrambles up to follow. Luckily, John finds him right outside the door.

"Hey, you know you're not supposed to take off like that!" John says, relieved.

"Oh fuck you," Rodney says and John is taken aback by the anger there. "You wouldn't even have moved an inch if I'd went out the door with that girl instead of alone."

Which is probably true, John admits to himself. "Would have been none of my business," he says instead.

"It should be," Rodney says.

"What?"

"I wish you cared. I wish I hadn't fucked everything up. I more than everything wish this fucking wine didn't make me say all of this, Jesus Christ!" Rodney shouts the curse, throwing his empty cup as far as he can down the street where it bounces on the pavement. They're not alone outside and the handful of people turn around to see what the fuss is all about, whispering among themselves.

"Shhh!" John says reflexively, mind reeling with what he just heard. Oh, he cares alright, that's not the problem.

Instead of going back inside, Rodney grabs John by the front of his uniform and makes him turn the corner from the building and pushes him against the wall in the alley. John's heart is beating hard and he can't seem to react, pinned like a moth to Styrofoam.

"I wish I hadn't hurt you," Rodney says, a lot quieter. "I wish you could forgive me enough to give me another chance. But since that seems out, I wish I could get you out from under my skin because I'm going nuts." Rodney's making up for almost a month of not looking at him directly by staring right into his eyes and the pain there, the regret is almost overwhelming. John is also hyper-aware of how close they are, barely inches between them as he clutches at Rodney's upper arms, not sure if he wants to keep him away or pull him close. "But most of all, and it fucking haunts me, I wish..." he stops and hesitates for the first time since he started his little tirade, eyes closing and John can barely breathe.

"What else?" he whispers.

Rodney eyes pop open again and god, the intensity will kill John. "I wish I'd done this when I had the chance."

The kiss is so tender, so sweet that it shatters something in John's chest. He immediately reaches up to frame Rodney's face, to make sure he stays right there and kisses back as Rodney all but flattens him against the wall. The kiss goes from sweet to desperate in 1.2 seconds flat, deep and wet and John feels as if he's been ignited from the inside and he's going to explode from the rush of it. Rodney shoves a thigh roughly between his legs, pressing it up until John keens at the contact against his cock. Rodney finally lets go of his mouth to press open mouthed kisses along his jaw, then bite at his earlobe sharply, making John arch against him.

"Fuck!" John curses.

"I've missed you so much," Rodney says near his ear. "I can't stop thinking about you. I was so stupid, because I didn't figure out you loved me back until it was too late."

John hands clench in the fabric of Rodney's uniform, and he hopes he heard that right.

"You're my best friend and the most important person in my life, the only one I want to be with. You've got to believe that," Rodney pleads.

"Okay, okay, I do, me too," John says before pulling Rodney into another kiss, winding his arms around Rodney's solid shoulders and holding on.

At one point Rodney grabs him by the hips and holds him still as he grinds, making John moan. There might be 4 layers of fabric or even more between them, but it feels heavenly.

"I've had time to think of all the things I wished I'd done with you, to you... I have lists of them, John," Rodney says hotly and John shivers.

"Oh yeah. God, I missed you too," John pants.

This is the man he loves, the one that drives him nuts but that he can't live without and John is so happy he thinks he might never stop smiling. That other awkward and unsure Rodney can go away and never come back, for all that John cares. Until it dawns on him.

"Oh!" he says as Rodney bites his neck, and he's almost distracted from his epiphany.

"Oh what?" Rodney soothes the sting with the flat of his tongue and John tilts his head to give Rodney more space to hopefully bite again.

"That shy and overly nice McKay, that was your idea of flirting, wasn't it?" John says with a shit eating grin. It's so obvious now, he wonders how he missed it. No wonder Ronon seemed to be perpetually rolling his eyes lately.

"Shut up," Rodney says with a glare, though he's blushing so John knows he's right.

John's grin gets even wider at that and he chuckles, then gives a peck on Rodney's lips. "That's more like it."

"What's more like it?" Rodney asks, visibly confused.

"Insults, rude remarks and I'd even add in stupid jokes and generally nagging at each other, _that's_ the flirting I'm used to. Keep up, Rodney."

"Smartass," Rodney says kissing him back with a pleased little smirk. "What am I ever going to do with you?"

"I don't know, you tell me," John shrugs, though it may be the most important question of all.

"What about making up for endless idiotic foreplay by years and years of trying to do it right, at last?" Rodney asks.

John grins, happy that Rodney sees this as something that is meant to last, too. "I dunno, will orgasms be involved?"

"Tons. And most probably fights, let's be realistic, then amazing make up sex. Love, lots of that too. You're the one, John, like it or not."

"Oh, believe me," John says leaning in until he's brushing Rodney's lips with his own. "I'm totally cool with that."

 

The End

 

There is a third dimension to traveling, the longing for what is beyond.  
 **Jan Myrdal**

I am fond of them, of the inferior beings of the abyss, of those who are full of longing.  
 **Richard Wagner**

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank from the bottom of my heart everyone who helped me write this fic, from putting the idea in my head to the cheerleading throughout.
> 
> When it was all said and done, my betas [jaydblu](http://jaydblu.livejournal.com/) and [baldie_troll](http://baldie_troll.livejournal.com/) helped me put it into shape and for that I'll be forever grateful. <3
> 
> I'm especially thrilled that the wonderful [mashimero](http://mashimero.livejournal.com/) did art work for this story. Please go tell her how awesome she is!
> 
> Finally, I want to thank the mods for running this _insane_ challenge so smoothly and most of all YOU, dear reader, who took a chance on this story and made it up to this point. I sincerely hope you enjoyed.


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